The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Shared...

I want to be honest.

I want to be free.

But, sometimes I can’t

because addiction has got a hold on me.

How did I get here?

Why did I let it go so far?

I ask myself “Do you even remember who you are?”

I told myself I’d never be that person, that I’d never risk destroying my family. But, somehow addiction got the best of me.

I knew it was wrong.

But now I want to be different,

I want to be strong.

I want my life to move along.

No more addiction

No more substituting feelings with things that don’t belong.

I feel like I’m bad,

but I want to be good.

Come on girl,

you weren’t raised in the hood.

You’re better than this.

You’re better than THAT.

Stop wasting opportunities,

that’s what you’re doing,

and it’s a fact.

This time actually try to get better

and weather the storm.

You want to find purpose,

but, this, this is not why you were born.

You’re here to be strong.

You’re here to be free.

But the white stuff isn’t going to let that be.

Let’s move on.

Let’s give that up.

All THAT will cause is for you to be stuck.

You can do this.

You can turn it around.

Don’t let this one thing beat you down.

Go to the meetings.

Follow the steps.

Beat the addiction.

Later, you can figure out the rest.

Go be free.

Go be strong.

Go be determined.

Move life along.

Stop staying you will.

Just go and do.

Because you know you can go any direction you choose.