Blue.
I burnt it down.
Forget the blue
haze we woke up in,
it’s all red now.
I buried my face into
your neck and I cried
so hard I thought
I’d die. Oxygen wasn’t
making it to my brain,
it was tired up,
hand shaped
around my throat
telling me “it’s okay.
We can die today.”
Could you remember?
When I really did want
to die? When I hated
everything inside &
outside? When I’d
starve and bleed for
fun; tracing the damage
I’d done with fingertips
that we’re almost gone?
I don’t want to die anymore.
I’m trying to pull away.
I’m afraid. I’m afraid.
I have so much more I want
to say, the words that could
never escape, the ones
I need to speak to your face…
The universe is calling for pay.
I take everything that is left
(besides myself) and set it aflame.
“Here, here you go!
Have this.
Not me. Not me.
I’m not ready today!”
ReBecca DeFazio
More Than a Flower