Don’t Be True

My first book signing. I adjusted the tight dress my manager forced me to wear and put a smile on. Britt looked at the crowd and straightened a book.

"You ready for this kid?" she asked.

I shrugged since my heartbeat was choking me. For years, I had dreamed of being someone iconic and now I had a line of fans waiting to meet me. Britt noticed my face and started with her ridiculous rules.

"Now no signing anything weird. I mean it. If I see one picture of a neon green potato in a book, I will lose my mind."

I rolled my eyes. I sign one kid's shirt with a piece of pizza and Britt loses her mind. She continued for a couple of minutes before I cut her off.

"It's almost time. If you're done laying down the hammer, I have to pretend to be an adult for three hours."

Britt gave me a side-eye. "Just have fun, okay? And remember, Rick and Danielle will keep any fans from being weirdos."

"My whole fanbase is weirdos. Just tell them to do smell checks on anyone that tries to hug me and to Febreeze the ones that don't pass."

"Funny. I'll be over here if you need me."

Britt disappeared and Danielle unclipped the fake velvet rope that separated a line of interested people from my little booth. A sea of people swarmed me, asking questions and getting their books signed. I was about eighty people in when my hand started cramping. All of my practice had apparently gone out of the window. I signed a couple more with random pictures (I couldn't help it) before I was anxious to sneak off and take a break. The life of a Y List celebrity was hard. Another book was slid quietly over to me and I instantly drew a purple Sharpie carton of milk.

"Who am I making this out to?"

"Your biggest fan," an oddly familiar voice said.

I made a face but wrote out To my biggest fan in sloppy slanted cursive. I looked up to see the owner of the voice. My mouth dropped, and my hands went limp. He smiled.

"You act like you saw a ghost."

"Dude, I thought you were dead," I murmured.

"I"m sorry I never came back. Couldn't remember your damn username."

I felt my face get hot. My stupid younger self had made my username a bunch of random letters. I looked back down to avoid being embarrassed and saw the huge purple blot I made on the inside of the book. I capped the marker and put it down, rubbing my thumb roughly against my palm.

"I need a break. Wanna wander with me for a couple minutes?"

He smiled and my whole body got twenty degrees warmer. I motioned for my manager to take over and distract the crowd and wandered towards the bookshelves with him alongside me. We walked quietly, mainly because I had no idea what to say. It wasn't like I had words. All the thoughts I had pushed down and ignored were all trying to escape me at once. After a few seconds, he spoke up.

"I told you you'd be famous one day."

"Yeah, but you didn't get to be my manager. I definitely wouldn't be wearing this shit."

"You look nice in a dress."

"Well enjoy it. I already have on basketball shorts on under this. I just have to take this off and I'll be at peak comfort again."

He chuckled. "I really liked the book."

"I'm surprised you even read it. Wouldn't peg a horror book as your thing."

"You told me it wasn't what you wrote. I was really surprised I liked it so much. But, you were talented when we met. Time only made you better."

"Yeah, something like that," I said, looking down at the floor.

"I'm really sorry I never came back. I mean, I really wanted to. I just couldn't. Actually, when I saw you were doing a book signing here, I was surprised."

"I told you I always wanted to come to Canada. I got a free trip here. Plus, it's only the beginning. I'm finally going to see Oregon like I wanted. Oh! Guess where I went recently?"

"Where?"

"Auckland! I got to help deliver a baby sheep. I even named her Shaun. The farmer was not happy about that.""You've done a lot in the past three years."

"Whatever. What about you? How's farming going?"

"Oh, I gave up on that. I work at some company now."

"Booooo. You sold out." I said, pushing his arm.

He smiled. "Yeah, something like that."

We reached the corridor to the bathroom, by the time my brain made up its mind. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tight.

"I really missed you."

"I missed you too."

I looked up at him with a smile and kissed his cheek. He pulled away.

"No, listen, I'm married."

He said more words after that but I couldn't hear him. My whole body went limp. I felt all of the romantical thoughts and feelings die. My body went ice cold. I tuned into the word friends and an apologetic look. I forced a smile and nodded. Before he could hug me, I pulled away, murmured something about pee, and speed-walked to the bathroom. The door had barely closed before the tears started falling. I slid against the door and broke down into my knees. It took years to suppress those feelings and they finally came out.

After five minutes, I heard a knocking. I locked the door and went in the mirror to fix the damage. The tears had wiped away most of the foundation, blush, and mascara that had been thrust upon me. I pressed some rough paper towels against my face and scraped the make-up off of my face. I wiped my eyes until the running mascara was barely noticeable against the bags under my eyes. I tossed the paper and opened the door to see Danielle looking at me.

"Geez, you look worse than normal. Who died?"

"No one. I watched the wrong WorldStar video."

"Told you have to stop watching that crap. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, can you get my hoodie though?"

"I was surprised you made it this long looking presentable."

I smirked but saw him leaving, and it disappeared. Danielle came back and frowned at the sight of me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. That poor squirrel just didn't make it in time."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Do you need a hug?"

I pulled my hoodie on and let Danielle hug me. It took everything in me not to breakdown again. I had to get through this. I could cry on the way to Montreal. Danielle pulled the hood off of my head, scolding me for even trying it, and ushered me back to the table. Britt made a face at the sight of me, but her face softened after Danielle whispered something to her. I plopped back into the chair. I was greeted by a smiling girl and her mom, clutching my book to her chest.

"It's awesome to meet you. I love your book."

I feigned a smile in response. She handed me her book, and I drew an electric blue smiley face in a corner of the page.

"Can I ask how you got the inspiration for a book?"

"A friend of mine suddenly stopped talking to me and I was really worried, so I basically took all of the bad thoughts I had and put them into this book."

"That's deep," her mother murmured as she gave me her book.

"Are you going to continue the story of Alex and Taylor?"

A tear fell onto the page. I wiped it off, smudging the ink, and kept writing. "I have no choice but to finish it, you know?"