I am eternally grateful

I sat down, trying to stop fidgeting. I gulped. ‘This is going to be just fine.’ I assured myself.

“What makes you happy?” They began by asking their first question. There would be much more to come.

“Probably having fun with friends and family,” I answered with a smile on my face.

“Okay, then.” A woman dressed in black raised an eyebrow.

“What are you the most thankful and grateful for?” They asked.

What am I thankful for? What am I grateful for? Those questions ran rapidly through my brain.

Life?

It isn’t exactly fair, but it’s life.

Music?

It’s fun.

Family?

The only ones that stay during hard times meanwhile everyone else leaves.

Wireless headphones?

I don’t know. Who even asks such questions?

There are many answers to that question. No one can just pick one thing or person, right?

Well, I’m sure William would have found a perfect answer for this...

William.

Has it been that long since I visited him? It has. How stupid could I be? I haven’t visited him in over a year!

I should. It’s not every day one stumbles into a six-year friendship like ours.

It’s not every day one shared six wonderful years with a cancer warrior like William.

11th grade was the best-worst time anyone who knew him would ask for. For months I thought he was over cancer and was finally branded a cancer survivor. Sweet sixteens being celebrated at every corner, yet he spent his in doctor’s appointments and several rounds of chemotherapy.

He never had a sweet sixteen?

It’s been so long! I can't even remember.

I remember that look on his face when he came back. A shiny bald head and a smile on his face. It hid the fact that he felt like dying very well. He was always a good actor.

A theater kid at heart. Why did he join band then?

His attitude toward life was indeed remarkable. He loves football but played basketball. He could act but chose band.

Oh, and that one time he caught Lucy smoking! That was horrible.

But cancer didn’t like the idea of leaving that perfect young hopeful boy, did it?

Why did it have to come back? And after all those pep talks he used to give us! And when he promised he would get better.

And my stupid brain was under the impression his life was getting a lot better.

It was followed by a year of torture. A tormented year of chemotherapy, doctor’s appointment, more chemotherapy, even more doctors and next to zero chances of ever living a normal life.

He could have at least told me, instead of skipping school and coming back a week later without any explanation.

Sure, I wasn’t the best person at processing the entire ordeal, but who is when someone tells you they’re dying.

That was until one morning his body finally gave up.

William L. Bellwood (Nov. 30. 2001 - Nov. 27. 2019)

He didn’t even make it to 18.

Back then I didn’t imagine him as a cancer patient. I was so sure he would punch it in the face and survive.

He would tell me not to worry. He would give me confidence in every way.

That’s what I’m grateful for. For those wonderful dreadful years of friendship we shared.

“Ms. Rose?”

“Ms. Rose?!”

I snapped out of memory lane. “What or who are you most thankful and grateful for?”

“My family.” I lied. “They’ve always been with me and supported me in every possible way.”

I am eternally grateful for you, Will.

I’ll visit you when I’m done. I promise.