Why does someone write?

Why do I write?

That’s a hard question to answer. I write for many reasons. I’ve never been good with words, that’s always been a big struggle of mine, and somehow writing makes it easier. Maybe it’s that I can stop and erase my thoughts, which I can’t do while speaking. Maybe it’s because I’m shy and I don’t have to have a conversation with someone, rather I can just sit and make sense of the mess in my mind. I enjoy writing because I can listen to music and get inspired by other people's words, gather my words a little better.

Sometimes I prefer writing over speaking because something is just too hard for me to say out loud, it’s personal, and writing it makes it easier to say. I can write a letter and leave it for that specific person, not have to see their reactions as I say what I need to say.

I remember when I wrote my first poem. I was a wreck, I couldn’t get any words out without crying more with each attempt of a syllable, but I was able to stop my shaking long enough to type out just a few lines of my soul. After that, I found it was easier to write about other things in my life, current or not. I wrote about self-harm, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, sexual assault and other abuse I experienced, heartbreak, love, anything that I felt in that moment is what I wrote about. It would just come out and was easier to share, not having to look someone in the face while I explained what was going on in my mind.

I can’t remember the first person I shared with, and I can’t remember if they’re still in my life currently, but I know at that moment that I shared part of my soul, they meant something to me, they were an important person in my life. Even though I can’t remember, I do hope they’re still in my life and I speak with them regularly. If not, I hope the best for them.

I haven’t written in a while, this is the first thing I’ve written in about three months. I’ve had a lot in life and just haven’t managed to get the words out properly. That’s an issue for me with writing, I feel as though it has to be perfectly constructed the first time around. That’s the same reason why I’m not big on conversation, because I stumble over my words constantly and beat myself up for it, yay being a perfectionist. I’m not too great at small talk either, I’d rather hear all about someone’s life. I want to know about fears, loves, favorite things and why it’s their favorite, insecurities, their hopes and dreams. I long to know the small details of someone’s life, and maybe that’s why I write. I’m able to share things that may seem small to someone else but could be larger than life to me.

So, why do I write?

Any and every reason. I want to share my soul with someone, to let someone inside my mind. Maybe I want to be ‘relatable’ or seem ‘cool’, maybe I think someone will read it and I can connect with that person, make a friend through one of my thoughts. I think that’s the reason anyone writes in the end, to make a connection with another person. Humans crave connection and words can help, whether it’s a book or a favorite poem, you can always meet someone that will relate to something that someone said.