Caged beasts

.

Whosoever is delighted in solitude

is either a wild beast or a god

Francis Bacon

Sometimes life resembles a fairytale and everything works right. You are satisfied with what you got and never really look back at what can go wrong. But usually, life gives you a hard time and complicates itself with every passing day. My life wasn’t easy, my family wasn’t that of a dream; my dad causing trouble wherever he went - he was good from nature but sometimes the need for money took over everything else.

Even the safety of his only daughter.

So here I was now, sitting in a dark attic, without a way out. A sadistic woman kidnapping me and taking as a hostage. Using my as leverage to her own plan, because my father once more wanted more then he could swallow.

❋

It was just a week ago when somebody attacked me and pulled me to the ground. Using a rope and a sedative to achieve their goal. Throwing me into a car and taking me to some strange house that seemed to be crumbling into pieces, but at the same time proved to be impossible to run away from.

❋

I remember the time when I first woke up. My hands in a tightrope, laying on some old bed. A headache spreading faster than a fiver. I blinked a couple of times, not understanding the situation, my mind a bit fuzzy and in a daze - lifting my head and trying to look around. The thought that I'm in an attic spreading, a lot of clutter everywhere. Big cardboard boxes, old rugs, just a bunch of stuff on every surface - and a very angry looking young woman in the center of it all.

What happened to me... why am I here?

I see someone’s up.

She says smiling darkly.

Did you have a good sleep princess?

What are you talking about, I don’t even...

My head starts to hurt even more, and I close my eyes to regain some control or at least some clarity.

Don’t worry sweetheart, that’s just the sedative leaving your body. It will pass soon.

Why. Am. I. HERE ?!

I blurted out, my stomach making somersaults. I open my eyes again and flinch. She’s coming to me with speed, her face catching more light. I freeze and stare at her, not able to look away. It’s not the anger and cruelty on her face that scares me so much. Her face is covered with strange scars, they’re white and almost pulsating with a bright glow - as if there is a little light moving underneath her skin and “blinking” from time to time. I want to scream, but somehow manage to stop. This was just a bad dream, some strange kind of a joke. This woman, she must have special makeup on her face, that just has to be it. I stare at the scar starting under her eye. It goes past her cheek, down her jaw and then curves to the right, disappearing under her grey shirt and the beige leather jacket. I swallow and my heart starts to race again.

Like what you see?

The corners of her lips lift and her stare turns colder.

You really shouldn’t be screaming at your host, darling. It is considered rude.

Alright - I try to keep myself calm - Why am I here, can you tell me... please?

She furrows her eyebrows as if this wasn’t the answer that she was expecting. She takes a step back, her face more serious. She crosses her arms and looks around as if noticing the surroundings for the first time.

This is my place, the attic to be precise. And underneath it, there are 3 floors, all secure and locked. So it is in my interest to warn you, there is no way out - and it would be very smart of you, not to try.

She walks up again and I just stare at her, too shocked with everything to actually do anything. She takes out a knife out of her pocket and comes closer... then cuts the rope binding my hands.

There will be no need for that. After all, I am a businesswoman first - a scary monster is just a sweet extra to the package. Once again, I would advise you not to do anything stupid. I have a low patience for fools and you don’t strike me particularly as one. Do you understand what I’m saying here?

Yes, I do.

I sit up slowly, rubbing my wrist from the tightrope. This was getting stranger and stranger by the minute. It was a good thing I was a calm person by nature - this woman looked like she meant every word she said and could be very dangerous if given a chance.

Good. I will make sure that you are delivered some food to “your room”.

Wait.

I say quickly before she can leave. She looks around and stares at me questioningly. As if telling me “Don’t test me, girl, I have a low resistance for those who upset me”.

What is it now, princess?

I ignore her tone and take a deep breath. She stares at me and smiles at my faint attempt at gaining control.

Just tell me who you are and why I am here. Tell me anything... please.

I add after a moment when her stare turns darker.

As I said, just a businesswoman that has been treated as a fool by someone who wanted too much from me, that took something that wasn’t his.

What does that have to do with me?

Your father stole my possession and is working with people that I don’t approve of. People that are making my life much “more” difficult then it has to be. Do you understand what I am getting at?

My father.

I say weakly, not even arguing with her. Already familiar with my father’s doing’s - again he has put my life in danger, with this strange sociopath woman, that behaved as if she could tear me into pieces, like a real beast. And not just a beauty that flashed somewhere underneath all that anger and crippling scars.

I see that you are aware of your daddy dearest’s reputation. I’m glad. It will make things a lot less complicated. Now don’t panic sweetheart. You will be freed soon, just as long as I get back what I want. Are we good here? So glad.

She stares at my shocked expression and smiles. Her lips stretching into a heavy grin. There is fury underneath the calm that she pretends to have. I stare at her dark, long and wavy her, and eyes to match, they are so dark that they look like beautiful onyxes. Those eyes were ready for the kill if necessary.

❋

So days pass, my kidnapper not showing much and when she does, to check up on me, it usually causes tension and a lot of screaming. My screaming, she just smiles in her usual dark way as if this isn’t anything new to her, as if she was used to people hating her and treating her with rage.

So I try to stay calm, as much as I can. She terrifies me sometimes. Not with her looks, because I have grown used to that. Honestly, I don’t even notice it sometimes.

My focus on her behavior and mood swings. It’s that rage of hers bubbling underneath that scares me. Her scars are strange, but they are just a part of her, just something on her skin. Irrelevant. If only we could “get along more” then maybe this prison time would be more bearable. But there are also those odd days, when the situation almost seems normal... just two women living in the same house.

❋

I hear some rumbling in the basement and decide to go down there. Against my better judgment, because I promised myself that I would stay right here in the attic. In a faint attempt at being rebellious and sending her a clear message about how I felt.

She’s bending over an old water pipe, the damn thing shaking and making awful ear-piercing noises as if it was about to explode - and I could see that she was using some kind of heavy looking tools, trying to fix the damage.

She groans exasperated and finally looks up, her eyes full of fury and notices me. Standing there like a complete idiot, not sure if I should leave or stay. The coward in me struggling with my natural curiosity... and some unimaginable interest in this woman. She was a force of nature and it was fascinating watching the way she handled life.

Well, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to help me, princess?

She asks me in a mocking tone, a half-smile on her face. Though at the same time, I know that she must be in fact exhausted. Sweat dripping down her forehead, her face covered in dirt, almost making her white scars disappear. The bright light no longer pulsating, when her eyes stare at me. She looks so ordinary. So mundane. Not at all like the monster that she has such a high reputation for amongst her enemies and friends.

I thought I was your prisoner and not your slave.

I say sarcastically and cross my arms, defense mechanism kicking in.

Same thing darling.

She lifts her eyebrow, and I just shake my head. The coward in me slowly subsiding.

Now get over here, and help me before this ship starts to flood and sinks with you still in it.

_____

A sit in the old chair, legs thrown over the banister. She’s finishing the repair and my sweater hangs against the heater, my shoulders covered with a blanket.

It turned out we did have a small flood and a lot of cursing from someone. So much that if this was to be aired on TV, her hole rant speech, would be one long beep sound. I stare at her bare arms and wonder how is she not freezing - and then I start to think about something else and decide to ask her since all of the shoutings seemed to release some of the tension between us.

What’s your real name?

I ask, wrapping the blanket tighter around my arms.

Excuse me?

I can see her stop abruptly, whatever it was that she was doing.

You know, your real name, and not just the way your little minions call you?

She stares at me bewildered and strained, looking furious - and then, just like that, her expression turns normal. As if there was no rage to start with.

It’s Megan - a deep sigh - My name is Megan.

The way she said it, as if the word was almost unfamiliar to her. Like she hasn’t used it for a very long time. Her expression saying “a monster doesn’t need a name, whatever you call it, it’s still a monster in the end”. I bend my head again and stare at her intensely.

What? Having difficulty with something your highness?

She asks in a dark tone and returns to her doing’s, a heavy wrench finally sealing the pipe.

No, except the kidnapping and being held against my will... I am just “peachy”.

I don’t see her face, but I just know that she’s rolling her eyes at me.

Well ? Speak up, woman.

Can I ask you a favor?

Wasn’t me answering your question, just that?

She asks and I just sigh.

Could you stop calling me 'princess' all the time or your 'royal highness' ?

She turns around and stares at me, as if she wanted to make a hole in my head, just by looking at it. She puts a hand to her tired face and closes her eyes.

Fine... Grace.

She grinds her teeth and it sounds like there is sand stuck in her mouth. I snuggle in my blanket and stare at her with a satisfied look. Finally some progress.

Now, If I could just escape this danger area, I would be perfect.

❋

After that day, we seem to finally get along, it’s not exactly friendship yet, but there is some mutual respect. I like to sit in her huge library, going through all sorts of books. Partly because I like to read, and my family home was never filled with those, just with my father’s gambling problems. I sigh, focusing on the words before me, enjoying the heat from the fire, on this very cold day. Loud wind blowing through the cracks of this old house.

I get lost in the read, when suddenly I hear a noise. The front doors squeaking and being closed shoot, with an even louder bang. I roll my eyes, she was such a diva sometimes. As if saying “I’m back, prepare and hide all of your valuables” I hear her on the stairs and then see her stand by the frame of the door.

Some uncertainty about her behavior. I furrow my eyebrows and she crosses her arms,

giving me a funny smile.

Mind if I came in and got myself warmed up? It is freezing outside.

I wouldn’t know. You never “let me” outside.

She rolls her eyes and comes in, grabbing a chair and rubbing her cold hands and putting them closer to the fire.

Think I won’t bother your special lecture time?

Megan looks up and stares at me expectantly, waiting for the arguments to start.

You can stay... if you behave that is.

I will try my best.

She turns back and stares at the fire happily cracking. I look at her and the light that surrounds her. A warm glow, that makes her features softer somehow. I think she senses that and turns her head slowly, then looks at me and gives a small, shy smile. I take a deep breath as something moves inside of my. A strange feeling taking over me, my heart performing some odd dance under my chest. I swallow hard as a simple thought fills my head and rumbles away with force. I could love this woman. I feel a blush spreading on my cheeks and clear my throat. What was I thinking? She was my kidnapper, for crying out loud. This was ridiculous. She gives me an odd look and her smile deepens, causing my breathing to speed up again. What was going on around here?

You feeling alright? Did the big bad book scare you?

She mocks in a playful way and I regain some control. Her sarcasm returning some of my courage.

I was thinking how beautiful you look in that light, not as scary as usual... when you don’t look like you want to tear me up to shreds.

I say and she furrows her eyebrows as if she didn’t hear me correctly. Then I watch as a faint red color start to spread across her neck and reaching her face.

Oh, that’s... nice, I guess.

She stands up and starts to leave.

Don’t fool yourself. Sweet words won’t make you free you before it’s time.

I know. I’m fine with that, just stating the obvious.

And the weird thing is that I mean it. She is a beautiful woman, despite her white scars and her constant bad behavior, and it really would be easy to fall for her... if it hasn’t happened already.

❋

I like spending time with you.

I look up and stare at her, ready to go to sleep.

You show it in an odd way.

It’s just the way I am - and it would be better for you if you didn’t like me back. This will soon be over and you can return to your normal life.

What if I don’t want to ?

Then darling, you are a bigger fool than I thought.

She leaves and I stay in the attic all alone. She does that a lot. Getting me closer and pushing me away again. Like she wants me to be around and at the same time, she knows that this will never work. Her demons too strong to let her be happy. This hurts me so much because, despite the situation, I care for her, and with every day, I want to be closer to her. I’m not scared of her anymore, I’m just scared that she will leave me behind once all of this is over. I will be left with all of those unexpected feelings to cope with it.

This has got to stop.

I have to know what I stand on. I don’t care about my father’s debts, his foolish behavior and what he did. The only thing that matters is Megan and how I feel for her... and what she feels for me. And I know that she does, even when she pushes me away and thinks I want to gain something from this. I know there is so much more to her and I’m not going to leave her. Me and her - we deserve to be happy. We all had fears and bad stuff in our life to face, and there is the same fear underneath our skin.

❋

Another couple of days pass and I know we are stuck in place. Our fears and wants mixing together, causing tension. We act like caged animals, walking around in circles. Too stubborn to give in. All the rage and fear, confusing our minds. Playing with our broken hearts. And finally when it just too much for us, someone breaks.

And that person is me. I have had enough, this had to stop. I was taking control.

❋

I don’t care about your stupid scars !

I yell at her, frustrated, that she is constantly pushing me away. I groan exasperated and reach her momentarily, pulling on her shirt, to get her closer, and push my forehead to hers. Anger making me stronger. I let it fill me up and consume me. Finally, after just a moment of hesitance when even my heart stops to beat - I touch her lips, feeling so greedy and wanting more with every following second. I can also feel her strain, she’s surprised by my outburst, by what I just did. But then her hand lies on my back and she pulls me closer to her.

I guess I was fooling myself all of this time, thinking that I hated her for kidnapping me and acting like she owned me, but that was an act. I used my fury to cover other feelings. Pretending that the fear ruled me, that she was dangerous to be around. When in fact, she was just as scared as I was. She hated what happened to her and that hate spread like wildfire, taking everything with her and leaving her scorched.

Why are you doing this? Can’t you see what I have become?

She says to me in a whisper and shakes her head in the last attempt to pull me away.

The way you are now...

Hideous and a monster inside and out ?

She asks before I can finish my sentence.

No. You are not a monster, inside or outside. You’re just hurting.

She starts to protest again, but I shut her up and kiss her again, she doesn’t hesitate this time and takes complete control over me. She holds my face in hers and stares at me dazed, in complete awe, but happy. It’s about time, she had to suffer too much already.

And the way I look now? I’m a freak show.

Don’t you dare say that, okay? I won’t let you.

I pull the brown curls from her face and put it behind her ears.

You are beautiful to me. You have scars on the outside and I carry my inside... what’s the bloody difference ?

I smile at her and slip my fingers against the white pulsating scars, their tiny glow setting a warm notion of joy against my heart. The joy expands and leaves me almost breathless.

She is mine, this beautiful and amazing woman is all mine, and I am hers. I slip my fingers against the scars again, starting from the beginning. Under her left eye, against her cheek, down her jawline, then even lower as the scars turn into a curve, from her left side to the right, under her cleavage, straight to the heart. She holds my hand to her heart and stares at me as if she never saw a stranger creature then me.

I look at her face and see all of those emotions, that she has been putting off for so long. So many feeling fighting on her face. Each one of those feelings trying to take over at the same time.

You really don’t mind.

No. I never did. Just your outrageous behavior.

I smile and she returns it. Bursting into sudden laughter.

Well, sweetheart. You must be crazier than I am.

She grins, her whole body relaxing, and as the smile finally reaches her eyes. There is a rumbling sound and the earth starts to shake slightly. Furniture starting to move and the light flickering, sudden wind breaking in the completely closed room.

What's going on?

I scream at her because the strange wind is peeking up, the rumbling noises increasing as if all hell was waking up. I stare at her, and I can see that her body is in pain. She screams, her body bending in half.

No! Megan! What’s happening ?!

I try to reach her but there is an invisible force, not letting me through. Lightbulbs start to break, sending sparks all over the attic. I close my eyes and cover my ears, a dreadful noise filling the space around us. There is a big bang and I fall to the ground and roll into a ball. I lie there terrified, when just in seconds everything goes quiet. My heart is hammering under my ribcage and I breathe with difficulty.

Only one thought to keep me from fainting.

Megan.

I look up and there she is, in the same position that I am.

Megan? Are you all right?

She lifts her head and looks at me, her chest moving really fast. I freeze, too scared to even move.

I’m fine. I think. What the hell was that? Did you feel that? Like a wretched storm in here. Are you okay, love?

I stand up and so does she. I stare at her, something is different, but I can’t really tell what it is.

Yeah, I’m alright. What...

I don’t finish as something happens to her face.

The room fills with silence again and I forget to breathe. No sound, but one. It’s as if glass shattering, the sound of ice freezing, like little needles. Millions of little needles. I stare at her and her scars, and they just, crumble like old cement. Turning into dust and falling to the floor. I walk up to her and put a hand to her cheek. The dust on my hand, sparkling at first and then fading into oblivion. I stare in wonder at my hand and then look up, my gaze lost in hers, shaking my head and just smiling.

I think everything is going to be alright.

My stare is still in a daze as she looks at me and returns the smile, just as shocked as I was.

And then I feel it, a gentle warmth filling her from inside and outside. She found the peace for her raging soul. Now we both could breathe without fear or doubts.

I think so too. Thank you. For being my ‘grace’. I needed that in my life, so badly.

Yes.

I take her hand softly and watch her lips break into another smile.

You and me, just two beasts in a cage.

❋ .❋. ❋ .

Inspired by the Beauty and the Beast , and once upon a dream written for a modern fairytale challenge.

I hope you enjoy after some editing work and staring back at an impressive need I once had for ellipses (such addicting beasts... don't you think?) . I'm still working on it, but thankfully it has moved on to more steady level after all this time.