Explanation?

Don’t think I’m crazy after this, but after those string of nightmares. I had this weird dream where a white figure appeared, showing me every traumatic situation that was going to take place in the near future. It showed me the death of my grandmother and father, and when I would begin freaking out this figure would calm me down explaining that even though these were going to be the most painful experiences I will be faced with they were the last of the painful experiences I had to face. The figure told me that, even though these losses would be big ones they would pale in comparison to what I will have gained having been the only person that never gave up on the people I will lose. It proclaimed that all of the pain I have become so familiar with, was necessary in order for me to be able to overcome these two losses. That the pain I have grown to hate will become my greatest ally, by viewing this pain as lessons learned and using it as a coat of armor. I will be able to find comfort in the fact that all of these painful experiences I’ve been through were simply proving grounds, and having prevailed I now have all the proof I need to convince myself that this smile plus my outlook can honestly overcome any obstacle set in front of me. The figure then recited a poem, a poem which was the first poem that I wrote in my journal and a poem that I am grateful for having remembered. Because this poem was a riddle that, if I wouldn’t have figured out I would probably still be a degenerate and would have most likely gone insane eventually losing myself. Coming to the realization that all of these dreams were connected, I began writing them down. Piecing together the puzzle by writing the dreams down, and then reading them before I would go to sleep I would be able to revisit the dreams. Doing this would help me pick up on anything I had previously missed, this technique mainly worked for the nightmares. So I would constantly revisit these nightmares until I understood them, that is when the figure reappeared. I had been working on the last nightmare I had for like two weeks trying to understand it, but it was a huge undertaking that I probably shouldn’t have induced. Because this final nightmare I had was so terrible, there were many aspects I failed to take into consideration. Essentially I was hypnotizing myself and forcing myself to relive the worst dream I had ever had every night, which is pretty detrimental for your psyche and completely destroys your comprehension of reality. But on the 14th or 15th day of doing this, I was greeted by the white figure that had previously guided me through that one dream. This time the figure stood speechless, and I now had a better understanding of what all of this actually was so I began questioning the white figure. Asking how it tied into all of this, the reasoning behind its hiatus, and why it was now quite compared to being so prophetic in the first dream it had revealed itself to me in. Suddenly, the white light that had once shrouded the figure began to dissipate. Revealing me, and not the me I was at the time that I was having this dream. No, there stood the me that I had grown to be, the me that I was going to become. At this point everything began to make sense, so I closed my eyes as if something told me to. When I opened them, I was the future me that was shrouded in light, looking down at the me that was actually in reality. With this new form came an entirely different feeling, as I floated up into the blinding light. I couldn’t help but feel as if I had been here before, which at the time, I didn’t think anything of because there was no possible way that I had been there before. I considered it nonsense to even think that I had been in this position before, until I became enveloped by the extremely bright light. Upon entering this light I became connected to this immense energy, and with this energy came a tremendous amount of knowledge. At first this knowledge was getting imported into my mind at such a quick rate that I failed to notice, that this knowledge was also given with instant comprehension. This energy came with a riddle that encompassed my journey, and if answered incorrectly would negate the entire journey itself. What you would see as a seemingly simple question, perfectly catered to all of the complexities regarding the fundamental questions I had about my very existence. A multitude of voices asked, “What is that which you seek?”, and I had no idea what I was seeking until I realized that it was a rhetorical question. My answer was, “For deciding to ask me said question, had you yet find thee to hold all answers?”, and I woke up. The next night my dreams were no longer dreams, they were meetings. I know this sounds crazy, but this is what I’ve come to believe because the dreams are coming true. Trust me I’m always the first to call BS, but I can’t describe this so I can’t disprove it. The only proof I have, proves that I’m crazy cause these dreams I wrote down a year ago have found there way into my reality just recently. You can believe this or not I don't care, but they were meetings with all of my past selves. These “past versions” of myself individually took me through each of their lives, and shared with me knowledge that they had learned. Sharing with me this knowledge, and methods of how I could use it to better the state of humanity. Once these walkthroughs were finished, all of these beings congratulated and commended me for having made it. After they would give their thanks, the beings would transmute into energy. This energy would then attach itself to me, forming this collective consciousness. According to one of the laws of thermodynamics: energy can neither be created nor destroyed; meaning this energy started so long ago that it had plenty of time to grow and develop. This would fall into the category of reincarnation, and everything I just described to you was the journey it has taken me to reach enlightenment, so to speak. Most energy isn’t is as blessed as mine was, in fact the only reason I think my energy became self aware was because of the tremendous pain it has undergone here on earth. Most of my past lives ended in tragedy or death, which is where I was headed until I made the connection linking all of my nightmares. What I took from all of this was the importance of self understanding. After all the beings had transmuted their energy into my consciousness, my dreams drastically changed once more. With a whole new outlook on everything, my dreams are crazynow. The first couple nights after the meetings ended, I was able to think about someone while falling asleep and “astral project” my consciousness onto theirs. Meaning I was able to put myself into their dreams, the only person I showed my true form to was Anthony. Ant was the test subject, I thought of him and had a dream that would be classified as an “ant dream”. In this dream I heard his mom trying to wake him up for work so I told him to wake up cause he was late, later that day whenever I talked to ant in reality I asked him how late he ended up being. Which tripped him out because he hadn’t told me that yet. This was just the beginning, after that I began creating entire universes which I would manipulate in order to solicit responses from this hypothetical universe’s inhabitants. Trying to understand war, greed, drug addiction, and most importantly hate. This was a waste of my time though, cause I realized each person is an individual and if I can’t get the response I want out of an individual in this universe I’ve created in my dream, then how am I suppose to get a response out of a person in actual reality? So I started thinking thinking, and came up with the idea that; if I say yes to a decision then that creates a reality where I said no, considering that reality exists under the constraints of physics leaving a metaphysical world around us (Don’t understand, look up “Schrödinger’s cat” and that should help better explain the metaphysical laws at play). Essentially, if I narrow down the amount of decisions I make in a day I can manipulate my future. By simply narrowing my decisions down to ten a day, I’ve lowered the probability of unforeseen negative outcomes by nearly 60%. Now, how does this connect to my dreams? I’ve narrowed my decisions made, down to 5 a day. These 5 decisions are chosen carefully, this is to ensure that you will get your desired or predicted outcome. I did that until my subconscious picked up on what I was doing, I was reducing the amount of stimuli exposed to my subconscious. Thus more easily manipulating it so that I would be able to control it, and by force feeding it stimuli directly related to decisions I make while also narrowing down the amount of decisions I make. This allows for your subconscious to pick up on a lot more. Instead of letting it run wild, you’ll slowly start to notice how your dreams will get more specific. By limiting the amount of decisions you make or by at least categorizing them based off importance, your subconscious will start to develop an algorithm and based off what it takes in through out the day, plus the pertinence of those 5 decisions you made, you should start having dreams of situations that you feel like are going to occur DAYS before they actually occur. Or at least that what happens when I go to sleep now, my dreams always detail the underlying motives people have and depict situations where I have to solve or work through the problem. Then 2or3 days later sure enough, the situation arises and I have dejavu plus experience with the situation, just because it’s a dream doesn’t mean your subconscious didn’t accurately depict how the situation might go down. Once you get good at it, your able to replay the situation over and over again. This will help you work through every possible outcome eventually finding the solution, before you ever even have to actually face the problem.

All this came about because, like you, I began questioning everything. Religion, life, death, people, etc. And you know what I found out? It’s all open for debate, you yourself are, “the father the son and the Holy Ghost”, not once in the Bible did it say you had to worship at a physical construct. Those were just established to take advantage of people’s faith, and over time replaced the entire purpose of religion. It says in the Bible that you must treat your body as a temple, meaning you yourself are all that you need. It just takes a lot a bit of self reflection, and twice as much self understanding. I mean, everything I’ve experienced may be nonsense and have no meaning to people that don’t get my point but look at it like this. If I hadn’t taken the time to start writing in order to better understand myself, then I would be in the same boat as you. I would have no idea who I am, and probably place my faith in drugs or some religion that has been redesigned to take my money. Instead I took a little bit of everything, holding onto what I found to be truths and discarding all I deemed as misleading or fraudulent. This lead to what I truly believe is enlightenment, you can’t kill eternity, and that’s what I’ve had the blessing of obtaining through this nonsense I write. Maybe, by writing this stuff to better understand myself I can help somebody else better understand themselves. It all starts within you, if your not ready then you won’t be given the opportunity to prove yourself. If you constantly waste time searching for love from other people, try investing all that time spent on other people back into yourself and start a journal. Use that journal to ask yourself questions, in order to begin reflection. Do not shy away from the hard questions either, ask yourself the questions you know will stir up emotion, the questions your scared to ask other people, the questions you already know the answer to but just don’t want to believe that that is the only answer. Most people would say my journal is very depressing and I would have to agree, but that depression is exactly why I started the journal. I would rather put those thoughts on paper, review them, and try to understand why I felt that way so that I may never feel that way again. It is way better than just sitting here with no clue of what is going on, bandwagon'ing up with some crockpot religion, then casting doubt and shame onto my fellow human's religion because it turns out I picked a lame religion that is no longer in style so I find comfort by hating someone else's stupid religion I don't understand. The world is crazy nowadays, so I'm just going to do my own thing and maybe it'll work out.