I think what hurts the worst is the way you knew me

every scar every secret every crevice I hid my dreams in

and when you cut me down to size

you couldn't help but realize

that you weren't the first to take your fist to my face

that you weren't the first to twist my wrist

that you weren't the first to inflict

the kind of pain that doesn't fade with time

you healed my wounds and so you knew exactly what scabs to pick you knew exactly what makes me tick and how to bust me open

I showed you every weakness every loose thread and when you were done you tugged and tugged and here I am

undone

you knew what you were doing you know what you've done

and here you are with upturned palms whispering lies like

"I didn't mean to"

"I'm sorry"

"let's restart"

and I'm melting because all my skin remembers is the way you sewed me back together the way you held me like a cast til I healed

but my mind knows better and it's all I can do not to sink to my knees in defeat

you were my last chance

my final stand

reluctant trust

and here I am right back where I started

but worse off because you knew

you knew me