checks and balances

my life

is a balancing act.

but why

why is it like this?

im shocked

that eight hours of sleep

in two days

and an emotional high

would lead to this...

but am I?

my brain

is a good lier.

even as I speak these words

it whispers

“I only speak truth”

but does it?

do I really

not deserve

this happiness?

do I really

need to do this again?

STOP IT BRAIN

I want to sleep.

Sometimes I don’t want these checks and balances.

reality

check.

I don’t need you today.

can’t I just have

a good day?

and yet

as I write this

I’ve already convinced myself

that I

shouldn’t feel this way

today.

you’ve been happy long enough.