Starbucks Stickers

So, I go into Starbucks and I buy my usual, a cappuccino. And the cashier, Paulie, asks me, "Do you want stickers?"

Well, no. I have gone electronic and I don't want a day planner. What would I do with one? So, I turn to the next guy in line, a huge guy with dark curly hair that looks like a Samoan who just killed a whale and I ask him, "Do you want my stickers?"

And he says, "Yah,"

Yes, you guessed it. This is my Christmas pass it forwards story, but to tell you the truth, I started doing this because I wanted to flirt with this cute girl in the line and just kept on doing. I've been giving my stickers to the next person in line for weeks now. It felt good and I couldn't use them. It seemed like such a waste to just throw them away.

But then, Paulie looked skeptical, and my mouth went into overdrive, "We've been friends for years."

I'd never met the guy before in my life.

And Yoni, that's the big guy's name, I saw Paulie write it on his cup. Yoni started looking disappointed like he'd just lost his best friend.

So, now I'm in turbo mode, "He's my cousin."

I'm five, eight on a good day and Yoni is six, four when the wind isn't blowing. He has a full head of hair and I am as bald as a rock. This guy is huge. Standing next to him, I look like his pet chihuahua. Paulie's not buying it.

"Yah, he's my cousin twice removed. My father's sister's cousin's brother's daughter. We grew up together."

I'm in it deep, now.

"We aren't genetically related. Or when he doinked my sister it would have been a real scandal."

Where did that come from? I don't know, but Yoni is turning all sorts of embarrassment. Pink, green, blue. Red, purple, magenta. I'm beginning to think Yoni here is part chameleon.

"No, it wasn't his fault. My sister seduced him. He was only thirteen. My sister was sixteen. Practicing cougar right out of the gate."

Now my sister is a pedophile.

Then, the counter girl Pia, my savior, yells, "David. Cappuccino for David." Pia and me go way back. Talk about a Deux ex Machina ending. Pia, you are a goddess.

"Well, you better give him my stickers," I say.

So, Paulie, looking doubtful, gives Yoni my stickers. And this is the best part. Yoni, this big guy says, "Thank you," and gives me his shy smile like nobody had ever done anything nice for him.

"Like, I said we've been friends forever." You'd give your best bud your stickers also.