Christmas

I miss Christmas.

I know it didn’t go away

Not really.

But it’s simply not the same.

I miss baking cookies

And putting up

All of our homemade ornaments

The ones mom hates

Because she thinks they’re tacky.

I miss crowded malls

And wishlists full of toys

I’d never play with again.

Ice skating

At the Pepsi Coliseum

And hot cocoa after

Because it’s too cold for ice cream.

I miss advent calendars

A chocolate for each day

And how my siblings and I would fight

For who got to open each window.

I miss the snow.

It never snows in North Carolina.

And it makes me miss back home.

I miss going to bed early

on Christmas Eve

In brand new pajamas

Our Christmas tradition.

And being so alive with excitement

That sleep became impossible.

Waking up at four in the morning

And mom grumbling

“Go back to bed!”

I even miss Santa

Because it was nice

To believe in something

If only for a time.

The magic is gone.

And Christmas is just a day now.

Like the three hundred some days before.

And it hurts in a sad little way

To know those days are long past.

And that light is lost forever.