My China Doll

Some memories sear on your mind like a brand from a hot iron. In the summer of 2010, while the mother of my three children was homeschooling our kids, a suspicion or prejudice set her ablaze. While my oldest daughter was setting at her desk doing her work downstairs, her Mom engulfs her space yelling” faggot, faggot, faggot…!” The incessant screaming does not end it is only one word repeated over and over a whole minute goes by. I attempt to ease my wife off of our daughter to quelch her wrath. My daughter in dangerous brokenness and overdosed by her Mom’s words, runs upstairs with tears streaming from her eyes, each tear losing a little of herself! I find a brief solace of peace in the air without the anger spilling over on my daughter. I go upstairs to hold my daughter and ease her brokenness. She is nowhere to be found, and neither is her prescription meds dosed for whatever were her symptoms. We now together, my wife and I, comb the house, looking for just a hint of my broken China doll. With not a piece to be found, we brush onto the yard and into the woods. Now in disbelief, my wife calls friends, and neighbors with screams of help! I call the police in desperation. With lots of land and a river down below our hill, My friend and I ran the river bank . Both of us already trained for a marathon, found ourselves breathless. The minutes became hours. Now I only felt for the worse despite my numbness. As we stood outside with the police anxious to go their families, I leaned to my wife and uttered in with complete peace “this is your fault.” These words may have hurt or even cracked her hardened porcelain a little that day, but I was not angry only truthful. Later, miles away an overworked police officer picks my daughter up on the road, scars up and down her legs from overgrown thorns with blood glistening the evening shadows, and there were other scars that no daylight would ever see. Years later my married daughter still seeks happiness from her brokenness. I think a piece of my china doll was lost in the woods on that wreckless day.