Resolution Cemetery

Every December I look over the graveyard of last year’s resolutions. It’s strewn with the headstones of good deeds gone awry. A resolution to volunteer at the soup kitchen turned into an effort to learn how to make soup for myself. A resolution to go outside for fresh air led to more time indoors, googling places to hike. A resolution to watch less TV, turned into day-long binges of Netflix on the computer. Finally, I resolved to give that man on the the corner a dollar or two, but at the moment of truth remembered that I needed that money to buy ingredients for soup. The headstones of Resolution Cemetery are monuments to my selfishness and confirmation of my weakness.

This year I’ll be more careful, making resolutions that I can’t twist and morph into something detestable. Maybe I’ll resolve to walk past the gym on my way to the bar, and think to myself, “Good for them, getting in shape on a Monday afternoon. I’m proud of those strangers!” Or maybe I’ll stand in front of the low-fat selection of ice cream at the grocery store and resolve never to but that stuff, ever. Yes, I think this time next year there’ll be fewer gravestones in the resolution cemetery to mock my efforts. It’s going to be a great year!