Chapter Twenty-Two

It was his eyes. The look in his eyes before I ran away had struck an arrow of painful, aching guilt right into my heart, and I felt horrible. What could I have done? Esterwilde was my everything. I had lived there with Mom and Dad and Juna. My fingerprints would never leave the halls of the orphanage I had helped rebuild, and my fingerprints were still on the ashes of the building before it. How could I leave when I had worked so hard to get to where I’d been?

Still, the ache in my chest remained, truly insatiable, and I couldn't find the will to lift the bedsheets from my face as I lay there alone in the room Miss Mylda had lent me.

Atlas had said… he’d said he wanted me to be a part of his home. Did that mean… he loved me? My eyes burned and I lifted the heel of my palms to my face, miserable. Was it even possible to love a person like me?

I'd had many suitors since I came of age; even I had to admit I was physically appealing. But I knew what they had wanted, and it’d had nothing to do with my personality. I'd watched as many girls had been swept into the allure of their flattery, taken off to the alter with a man they had barely met. I'd known girls who'd been married off by their families, but I’d never even had the chance for something awful like that. Besides, no one wants to marry a girl who doesn't even know her own lineage. The only reason anyone would want me is lust, because the angels know that I am not worthy of love. In the end, I always end up putting myself first.

But in all my life, I'd never felt this way about a person before. I'd never met anyone who confused me like him, whose mysteries I wanted to unravel so badly that I would strip my life bare before him so he could understand. I’d never cared what people thought about me, and yet here I lay, torn from the inside out over lashing out at him. I couldn't describe the awful, gnawing feeling inside if I tried. I rolled to the side, finally taking the sheets from my face…

… and saw Evyne in the doorway, arms crossed as she leaned on the doorframe.

“Evyne!” I yelped, wrenching the blankets back over myself. “Go away!”

“Not happening.”

I wasn't listening. I waited for her to leave, but after a long moment of nothing, I peeked out again from under the sheets, wiping the tears from my face self-consciously. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough.” She looked unamused. “Stop wallowing in self-pity and help me find Lefeli. She’s gone. Probably ran after the magic scared her out of her wits.”

“She’s missing?” I asked, sitting up.

“I knew she’d crack eventually,” she continued, pushing off from the doorframe and strolling down the hallway. “To be expected of a lallygagging dressmaker…”

I gawked at the empty doorway for a second, then scrambled into my clothes and hurried after her down to the parlor, where everyone was gathered minus, of course, Lefeli.

“I don't know what you all are fretting over,” drawled Miss Mylda from the kitchen, sipping tea I could smell from my seat, “she’s simply having some time to herself. Maestus ran off practically every week when he was her age.”

“Mother, please, I was practicing my potions.”

I caught sight of Atlas sitting on a couch on the other side of the room, holding a steaming mug in his hand and gazing listlessly into it. He looked so somber…

“Oh, stop it.” Evyne whapped the back of my head and shot Atlas a glare. He looked up from his tea and jumped to his feet when he spotted her, then took a long pull at his drink and handed the empty mug back to Miss Mylda. Evyne turned and started down the hallway. “Let’s go find that girl before she gets robbed or something.”

I followed Evyne again as she strutted toward the door, Atlas at our tails. We found Birdy in the stables and saddled her, but realized quickly that all three of us couldn't ride her at the same time.

“We can take Gedsik here,” came Jaren’s voice from behind as he approached the same spotted horse we’d ridden yesterday. “If we pair up.”

I shared a look with Evyne and she rolled her eyes. “Go on, then. I'll ride with Atlas.”

Atlas opened his mouth to protest, but was shot down with a glance from Evyne. A few minutes later, we all trotted the streets of Azareba toward the shopping district, where we'd decided to search first.

We made very little conversation, each of us scanning the streets, gazing down alleys and, at some point, asking passersby along the way. There was no sign of her, though. No trace at all.

We brought the horses up next to each other and Birdy scuffed a hoof in disagreement.

“Should we split up?” Jaren asked, glancing again around the street.

“We’ll break off toward the houses and smaller districts,” said Evyne. “You keep down this street all the way to the main gate, then if you don't find her, go back to the House. She might have returned.”

We all nodded in agreement, then as we were breaking off again, a shrill scream pierced the air, coming from up ahead. The four of us glanced at each other, sharing a look, then set off at a gallop. We were soon slowed, though, as a crowd of people filled the street, running like mice from a flood. I sweated nervously as I strained to see past them.

“A rogue magician!” someone shouted. Other similar exclamations echoed around us. The people in the streets scurried past, turning off into stores or buildings. Some kept on running.

A rumble shook the ground, cracking the cobblestone, followed by a deafening boom that reverberated in my chest. The horses bucked and reared as bright flashes of light cracked through the sky nearby and the screams continued.

I shot a look at Atlas and Evyne, who had the same expression I did.

We pushed through the crowd, demanding space with our horses, and raced toward the source of the chaos. As we came closer, I made out the shouts of soldiers and guards reacting to the scene also, then my blood ran cold as we came upon what once was the brilliantly lit town square directly in front of the city gate.

It lay in ruins, the stone on the street shattered to form a crater in the center, the buildings decimated, the storefronts and performing stages charred. And several bodies, bloodied, scattered among the rubble. Some still cried out in pain, but others lay motionless, sprawled over the wreckage.

My stomach lurched as I jumped off the horse and ran forward, stopping at the edge of the crater.

And in the center of it all was a girl, her shoulders tensed like a threatened animal and her once petite, stylish dress covered in dust and ash. Her light brown hair stood on end and she faced toward the gate with a dagger in her hand that glowed dimly and shook in her grip.

“Let me through!” she screeched at the gate guards, who pointed weapons at her in response. The ground tremored beneath my feet.

“Lefeli….” Dread pulled a thread around my chest so tight I stumbled. No… how could this…?

She swiveled around at the sound of our approach and I inhaled sharply. Her eyes were so wild and furious, her mouth pulled into a snarl that faltered the moment she recognized us. Her face seemed to flicker for a moment, her resolve wavering, then she thrust her dagger straight out in front of her with both hands, still shaking. “Get back, all of you! Don't stop me! I don't want to hurt you!”

The wind blew my skirt around my ankles and I took a step forward, gripping my satchel, the cursed book inside, with tight fists. “Lefeli, what are you doing?”

“Don't get any closer!” She growled, but then her face registered shock and her legs buckled.

I swiveled around to see Jaren holding a spellbook and murmuring a chant under his breath.

“She’s just stunned,” he said once the spell was finished. “It will keep her from trying to escape, but it won't last long.”

I nodded as Evyne and Atlas dismounted and I ran down the crater where Lefeli still sat, dazed-looking. The guards from the gate surrounded the edge of the crater in a circle, each pointing a weapon in Lefeli’s direction.

She was cornered.

Lefeli’s eyes widened suddenly and she staggered back, staring at me like I held a sword to her neck. My jaw clenched and I stopped a few paces away from her. Up close, I could see the tears in her dress, the glisten of sweat on her brow. She was terrified.

“I told you!” she cried, desperate now. “I told you I did what the Mother said. Steal something, curse the book and return the necklace, play the game. Play the game. Play the game.”

Atlas and Evyne came up behind me, listening as I was in growing horror. My breath caught in my throat and my body refused to accept her words. Curse the book…

“It was a game!” Her eyes, a glimmering amber, filled with tears as she choked on her words. “The Mother’s greatest, funnest game. Veia, you know, don't you? How to break the curse? Don't you?” She took a step forward and Atlas reached his arm out in front of me. Lefeli recoiled.

“You could have broken it anytime! I thought you wanted to keep playing! Evi,” she turned to Evyne, face pleading, voice breaking, “we’re friends! I love you! You knew this was the Mother’s game, right? My game?”

Evyne grimaced. “I thought you didn't like lying.”

“I'm not lying!” she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I'm not lying! What did I do wrong? We were having so much fun! I thought you liked playing games!”

Atlas stepped up to Lefeli, his uninjured hand tight in a fist at his side. She stared up at him from her knees, her whole body trembling. She smiled hopefully, her pink lips cracked and her cheeks streaked from the dust.

“So it was you." His voice was so quiet. I’d never seen him like this. “In Fairlay, it was you who poisoned and killed those five people. It was you who cursed Veia and poisoned me and Evyne. Because we were trying all along to break your curse, Veia nearly froze to death and all of us nearly died falling down a ravine.” His voice rose, his stance stiffening. “You destroyed my cart and broke my arm, and look at you!” He thrust his arm out, motioning to the destruction around us. "How many people have you murdered now? What blood lies on your frail little hands? Do you even understand how awful you are?!”

He shoved her by the shoulder and she fell to the ground, cowering and sobbing. Clenching his teeth, Atlas looked as if he wished to strike her, but he restrained himself and yelled in frustration, then swiveled around and stalked away.

“Lefeli…” I approached her, my feelings dulled and muffled below the deafening betrayal ringing through my ears.

Before I could realize what she was doing, though, Lefeli let out a cry and uncoiled, swinging the glowing dagger out in wide arcs. I gasped, stepping back. The dagger, most likely enchanted, began to emit a bright light, creating runes from the trail Lefeli left in the air, and they lifted into the sky, creating a pattern of bright yellow.

Just as an electric hum began to thrum in my chest and through the air, snapping and crackling from Lefeli’s magic, a flash of black blurred past and Lefeli screamed, dropping the dagger and crumpling to the ground, curled around herself.

And a deep crimson seeped through the periwinkle fabric of her dress where a throwing knife had pierced her stomach.