this starts coherent and then...does not
-Set a personal record for procrastination
-broke my habit of procrastination
-landed in a weird grey area of procrastination where i do it sometimes but actually turn things in on time
-had my therapist tell me, "we've been over this. you have anxiety. that's why you're anxious all the time. it's in the name."
-started taking Prozac(mental health! you've returned from the war!)
-discovered about ten bands that i promptly forgot about then returned to a month later
-learned about fifteen words in italian for no reason
-freaked out about failing geometry when my lowest grade was a c
-passed geometry
-forgot everything i learned in geometry
-took the ACT for Duke TIP
-got a 29 on the ACT and had my mom tell me she was proud and disgusted
-walked across the Duke basketball court and got a medal
-went to washington D.C.
-slapped someone
-got a scar on my wrist from my friend's toenail(don't ask)
-called my mom in a panic three seperate times that trip
-survived that trip!
-got the first cavities i've ever had in my life
-got diagnosed with trypanophobia
-survived my longest panic attack ever
-made a song to sing while waiting for the lady at the crisis textline to text back(it's not a very good song)
-learned to make angel food cake
-watched my favorite musical get the recognition it deserved after years!(nabiyah be was still a better eurydice but eva noblezada holds a special place in my heart, you go girl)
-came out to my mom
-came out to my best friend for the fifth time(she finally remembered this time)
-started acting
-started acting a lot more
-got nicknamed peter parker for my crush on a girl named M.J.(for the record, it stands for mary joanne and not mary jane, so if i call her by her full name you cant make fun of me anymore)
-auditioned for a play
-got the part
-celebrated with a super complicated cake that used all of the whisks in our house to make
-performed in a play where i had to pretend to die on stage three different times
-it was amazing
-got diagnosed with separation anxiety(why are there so many types of anxiety? can't we just label them all as "screams and terror and freakouts" and leave it at that?)
-figured out what depression was
-realized that taking antidepressants is not a guarantee you won't be depressed
-you'd think with the name
-bought a tiny wheel of cheese and made alfredo
-learned to draw!
-kind of
-not really
-still kind of bad
-but not horrible
-convinced my parents to let me stay home from church
-learned to dance
-came to terms with the concept of oblivion and realized that oblivion itself wasn't what scared me and the concept of an afterlife is actually less comforting than it sounds and that reincarnation sounds like the best idea but i dont know i didnt create the universe and i dont know how it works
-adopted a cat!
-not exactly
-she wanders around our street
-i feed her
-our actual cats want her to die
-but thats fine
-got contacts
-for three days
-then went back to glasses
-realized after five years that when my piano teacher writes Fine! on the back of my recital pieces after the recital she's saying "finished" in italian instead of just writing fine and pronouncing it weird for some reason
-seriously
-five years
-broke a pair of headphones
-almost drowned in the most anticlimactic way possible
-started a prose account
-went crazy
-realized that writing and acting are the two things that kept me sane for a good month and that continuing them wouldn't be a bad idea
-got my friend on prose
-stole her books
-read none of them
-momentarily distracted her from the fact that i hadnt returned them by buying her a new book
-forgot my own name
-many times
-watched my cousin graduate from law school
-contemplated stealing my cousin's cats
-didn't do that
-accidentally stole a book from my teacher
-had to define accidentally stealing to my friend
-informed her that WE CANT HAVE PHILOSOPHICAL DISCUSSIONS BEFORE NOON
-started having really weird dreams
-like god what happened
-and why do so many of them involve zombies
-had to explain why i have grey hair to about a hundred people
-several of them were repeat offenders
-I KNOW ITS GREY! I HAVE A MIRROR!
-tried to explain moral relativism to a cat
-dont know why he seemed to understand more than my friend
-bought a bunch of books i still havent read
-thats about it
-yeah
-eventful year
-but not really
-idk
-where is this going
-coffee
-dont ask
-nationwideisonyourside
-im done