Nothing Ever Lasts

I never thought that our relationship would ever change.

You were one of the first people who I met in college. Over the four years of college, we became super close. I learned some sign language because you were deaf. We had inside jokes and footage of nights we both couldn't remember the next day. We studied hard and partied even harder.

I guess it all started when I turned 21. I was suddenly thrust into your world at the bar. Where I saw a side of you I started to hate. Where I felt like you started to fetishize every single Asian guy we came across. Where you left me by myself every weekend to make out with every Asian guy at the bar that you could.

We no longer played basketball together or danced together. The only times I would see you was at the library or at the bar where I always felt used and alone. It no longer became a fun time for me because I also felt compelled to act the same way.

I started to see my value in having guys making out with me at the bar. So I ruined my first kiss with a random guy which twists my insides just thinking about.

Then we went to Korea together and you left me alone at the club again and I felt scared and alone in a foreign country. I didn't feel in danger but I felt like I went there to have fun but only ended up being your wingman yet again.

And I didn't like how you dated a guy just because he was Asian and then dumped him before we went to Korea so you could be single at the club.

I never thought our relationship would change from the days where I would make you brownies and we would wander around the campus at night. Where we would run in the rain to catch the bus. Where we would perform a dance together in front of over a hundred people. Where you used to teach me how to do a layup on the basketball court.

But people change. And so does relationships.

While we are no longer friends, I still cherish the fun moments we had together. I never once regretted being friends with you.

I never thought that our relationship would change. But it did. And I'm sorry.