The cat’s dead.

Playing with my cards facing up,

Only to lose.

Pathetic, right?

Or... brave?

Aren't those words synonyms at this point anyway?

I didn't even have a chance

To use the ace up my sleeve.

What was the point?

The meticulously maintained air of openness

Crafted for times like this

And you still called me mysterious?

What was it I didn't show to you?

Was it only the answers to every question you didn't ask,

Or was it the parts you would have never been given access to anyway?

You couldn't find the words to answer when I asked

And I couldn't find the curiosity to figure it out for myself.

Maybe that's it.

Curiosity.

I lost that around the same time I'd decided I was done with life.

And I neglected to pick it up again when I chose to continue.

It creeps in occasionally,

But I doubt that I ever have any firm grasp on the reigns.

Not wanting to know,

Wishing for a maintained ignorance,

Isn't that the classic indicator of one that enjoys what they have?

Ah, well,

It's gone now.

Can't say that I miss it.

Can't say I would look for it again.

But I guess,

Thinking about how I could have don't things differently,

I get a bit...

Curious.