From Iron-man to Umbridge

This question isn’t hypothetical for me.

I, straight up, had a high school teacher that looked, sounded, and acted like Professor Umbridge, so this isn’t a ‘what would you do if’ scenario, it’s a ‘what we had to do, because of her’.

Essentially, we tried to get her fired.

But, let me start over...

Once upon a time, in a kinder era of hope and innocence, we had this super cool, amazing music teacher who looked, sounded, and acted like Robert Downey Jr. (Tony Stark version). Everyone loved this guy. The school itself was practically known for having him, and as a former music student, I can verify this.

Mid lecture, this teacher would stop what he was teaching, clap his hands together, and say “Okay guys, its story time,” and then go on a tangent about some crazy event that happened in his very chaotic life. On a personal note, he encouraged me to be a better person, and on top of that, he was hilarious. Hands down, my best times in high school took place in his classroom.

Then, one day, he was like ‘I’m going to try to be a principal’ and he left our high school for Dumbledore-train- I mean, principal training.

His replacement: Umbridge 2.0

So, picture True Umbridge, with greying blonde hair, a bit shorter in height, and a voice that usually remained an octave lower than True Umbridge-level, but definitely had the capability of reaching that wonderful soprano tone.

Now, when I say this lady acted like Professor Umbridge, I don’t mean she went around branding people or sending dementors after them, or drugging her students. No. I’m saying she did all that stuff, but within the laws of a muggle realm.

I kid you not, everyone hated this lady. Hands down – or I suppose, ‘hands raised up when speaking in her class’ – some of my worst times in high school took place in her class. There were rumors that she caused depression in the neighboring cool guitar teacher, who became not-so-cool after she showed up.

I was one of the five, yes FIVE, people who still took music class the following year that she showed up. I hated her too, but my love for music was stronger. Regardless, that class was cancelled because there weren’t enough students and I was forced to replace music with media arts. It was like switching from Hufflepuff to Ravenclaw. I was betraying my kind!

This lady ruined the reputation of the music-hallway. At lunch, the halls became quiet, whereas before you would hear the echoes of saxophones and flutes playing jovially in the background.

Plus! Like True Umbridge, she got into the school by using her authority. She was the vice-principal’s friend - we investigated this.

One of the crimes this woman committed included scrutinizing at the dress pants that one of my friends wore for a band performance, and proceeded to ask her, and I quote, “could you not afford better pants?” Just because her black pants were slightly paled.

What if she really couldn’t afford them? How could you say that to a teen? The most sensitive of all age groups?

Verbal abuse like this, reaalllyy irks my soul, especially when I witness it done to a friend of mine, or anyone who isn’t me for that matter.

There were a number of similar examples of her cruelty that I must have erased from my memory. Thanks to these numbers, me and a group of fellow victims to this... female warlock... banded together, collected a list of dated incidents and booked an appointment with our other vice principal – as in, the one that wasn’t her friend. Then we sat in a circle and presented our cases. *looks into the horizon*

Tears were shed that day.

Umbridge 2.0 went from a music teacher to an English teacher. She was not fired, no. And her becoming an English teacher might just have been because no one took her music class, but we put up a battle that day, and I’d like to believe we made a difference. Though, who knows.

Maybe what we really needed in order to slay her was a pack of centaurs... or a kid with a lightning-shaped scar.