...

I glare deeply at my friend who giddily ties her hair with her new hair ties.

You okay? she asks like she didn't use her last wish for fucking 99 cent hair ties.

Peachy, I say.

Something wrong? she asks smiling as she ties her blonde locks.

My choice in friends is all. She looks at me dumb-founded. Huh?

I smile, a smile that could make It retreat deep into his sewer never to be seen again.

Of all the things to wish for..money, world peace, end to homelessness and hunger, a private jet even... she chooses hair ties. HAIR TIES. Maybe she should have wished for half a brain, hell a quarter of a brain or an ounce of intelligence; maybe then she wouldn't be this fucking stupid. Has she always been this dumb? Does that make me dumb by association? Oh God...this explains so much.

I could scream, but instead I take a breath. In...1...2...3... Out...1..2..3...Repeat until not homocidal.

Nothing, I say, absolutely nothing at all.