Everything is stupid.

"Actually, he only called me 'stupid' a few times. When he was...weak. Overwhelmed. I guess. Or angry. It's like having a dog for years. She's loyal. Loves to chase s#*t and cuddle. The kind of dog that knows what your thinking, knows what you need. But I'll be damned if, one day, she didn't snap on you because you petted her the wrong way on the wrong day. All it takes is once. It changes everything. You can never let your guard down around her again. She, officially, 'bites.'

My dad bites. He didn't bite much, but he did. I think he called one of my drawings 'stupid' once. It was. I know that now. He was right. Some terrible, made up super hero I'd created which was actually just a hodgepodge of stuff I stole from other heroes from my comic books. What the hell is a 'hodgepodge?' Anyway, he informed me that it was stupid. I didn't know what that meant. Just knew that it hurt. You gotta be careful with the truth. It'll get people killed.

Now that I think about it...he called me stupid alot. Most of the time though I was calling myself stupid way before he actually got around to it. Dumb stuff. Sneaking out at night. Spray painted some stuff. Got caught stealing a few times. Kid stuff. Stupid stuff. Those 'stupids' didn't hurt. That was the point. To do something stupid. Because I was stupid. Remember? How stupid I am? How bad that picture was? Spider-man mask, Superman cape, Wolverine claws, blah blah blah. It was stupid.

I failed alot of classes in school. Nobody cared about my grades until I failed. Then you get yelled at. Those 'stupids' did hurt. Hurt bad. I wasn't trying to be stupid. I just didn't understand. I usually tried pretty hard, too. Like, in math...all the numbers just start spinning or something. Like a video game when it starts glitching. Whatever. I'm just bad at it. Stupid. It's hard, I don't know why. He could have just helped me. But he didn't. Guess he was just as stupid as I am.

Weird thing about being stupid...everything becomes stupid. It's hard to explain. When you think that you, yourself is stupid? Worthless? As in, I have no value? When you feel like that? You start thinking that everything is stupid. My mom? F*@&ing stupid. Drinking and driving. F*@&ing stupid. I hope she enjoyed face-f*@&ing that tree with her face. Ugh. Eww. I can still smell her in my mind. She smelled like vodka. God, I can still taste her smell in the back of my throat, on my tongue. I hope she enjoyed her stupid life, because she sure didn't enjoy mine.

My life? It's stupid. My future? Worthless. Hopeless. Stupid. Just like my Dad. Just like my Mom. Just like me. Just like all of you. Just like all those stupid people. I knew it was stupid before I went in. You want to know why I went in there like that? Mowed them down like fu*@&ng worthless, stupid dogs? Cause that's what they were. Don't blame me for what I did. Blame my stupid parents and this stupid world. Blame their stupid little comments and snickers. Blame them for all the times they made fun of me with their stupid, loving parents and their stupid nice clothes and their stupid friends and stupid futures.

I didn't do it because I'm evil. Or because I wanted to watch them suffer. I'm not sick. I have a sickness. I'm stupid. Remember? Maybe you're all stupid too. Too stupid to love me. Too stupid to notice me. Too stupid to include me. You're talking to a stupid, unloved person with no hope and no future. And you want to know why I did it? It was either this, or spend my entire life feeling like this while I watch other people who don't. Sorry, but no one is exempt from suffering."

Her shaking hands slowly fold the letter and gently set it on the table before her. The families sit still for several moments. Fewer are crying than one might expect. Those who are crying do so silently. Most are just numb. Hypnotized. "I don't know if this makes things any better, or gives you any closure. I'm sure it won't. It was lying on his bed, with a cheap gas station rose laid over the top. There was a single bullet underneath. Make of it what you will. I'm too stupid to know what to make of it."

There's a distgusting silence.

"The exit is on your left."