relationship status

My heart is broken and I can feel the pieces clinking around in my chest as I go about my business, waving and smiling and making people laugh.

I try to deny it all I can, pretending that he still loves me but it makes no sense because he hasn't talked to me in forever, we've unofficially "broken it off" but I thought there was still room for me in his stone heart.

The proof is right there, she's a person just like me who he doesn't know but knows too well.

She's a person just like me, happy and bright and a ray of sunshine to pierce through the void that is him and save him from his own mind.

Why not me?

Is it because I was too sweet in the beginning, too happy and comforting, and we were both shattered and shaken and bursting with rawness and too willing to fall into each others' arms?

And suddenly, the cat faces and happy noises began to disappear, because I thought he would still see me behind my words, behind the screen.

He didn't.

And now I think, that maybe it never happened in the first place?

After all, all he does with me is ask me to record things for him.

Hardly proof that he ever loved me.

So I will choose wisely next time... Or so I said.

She's amazing in her own way, but I don't know what to do now.

Go on?

I'm taking the risk.

I hope I will never have to pay for it.