Challenge Ended
WTIYOS
I saw wabisabi post a challenge like this on prose and I thought it was cool. In this version of the challenge you would take one of my poems and write it in your own style. You can do a total overhaul or just change a few things, whatever you want! My poetry isn't very good so this might be lame, but I hope you like this challenge.
Ended February 29, 2020 • 8 Entries • Created by Luthien
Challenge
WTIYOS
I saw wabisabi post a challenge like this on prose and I thought it was cool. In this version of the challenge you would take one of my poems and write it in your own style. You can do a total overhaul or just change a few things, whatever you want! My poetry isn't very good so this might be lame, but I hope you like this challenge.
223 reads
I Fell in Love with a Ghost*
That night, when sunset cast deep shadows
there, under the lamplight I saw eyes
that met mine from a hazy shape, low.
So deep entwined did our souls become
our hearts beat in my ears and my spirit
soared, like a lost seagull missing the boat
sailing off toward the Northern pole pit.
I knew then, you had died someplace cold.
I will be forever old. Lost in time, deprived
no one to grow close to, no one to grow old
with children and house, only a moment
then you were gone.
*first line from Luthien's poem
#love #ghost #poem #sfharper #sheri fresonke harper, #rhyme #north #duluth #photograph
wabisabi
This is amazing. I was looking through to see what this one was based off of, was it the song by Sleeping at Last that was quoted? I love this, regardless. "So deep entwined did our souls become our hearts beat in my ears," favorite.
sheriharper
Oh, I screwed up, so sorry, I should enter a new one. I was just learning the system and I thought the entry was by the quoted Luthien, and I used his second poem. I changed to flag that I used his first line. Should I do a new one?
Luthien
@sheriharper Hi! Your writing is beautiful :) Sorry I didn't respond earlier. You don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong! To clarify, I had quoted a song by Sleeping At Last, so it's not my poem, but your writing does expand and develop on the ideas in the song, which is pretty much the purpose of WTIYOS anyways. I don't think you need to do a new one because this is really good and has amazing imagery. The only thing I would suggest is editing it to say something about it being a quote from a Sleeping At Last song maybe. Sorry for the long paragraph and thank you for trying out something new!