Need Vs. Desire

Why do you cower from me?

Like a child;

I am the child.

I remember cowering from you

In the closet

Hoping, Praying

That I would not get consumed

In your tornado of chaos.

Can't you see how much this hurts me?

No.

You can only see your pain,

Right in front of you,

As you hoist the blankets

Over your head;

To cover your face,

To cover your shame.

What did I do to you?

I held my ground,

Because I am an adult now.

I stand for what is right and just

For those who do not have a voice

Or feel as though they have no choice.

I wish I could be there for you,

But you refuse, any and all aid.

Why don't you love me?

Ever since I can remember,

You have reacted this way to me,

Making me feel less than,

Causing me to doubt myself

Putting my fears on a shelf

Just out of reach from my outstretched hand.

Summoning the courage, I grasp at the gamut.

Why do I care?

I should be used to it by now,

But I yearn for your love and acceptance

Not just with you, but with Everyone.

Now this is my repentance:

I do not Need you,

I Need to love myself; to do better for myself.

But I will always love you, mother.