Shining Statue

A new house, all mine, symbolic of adulthood.

I get the keys, and learn how to it's done,

Though I mess up a bit, the house is all my own.

Sharp air, an earthy smell though slightly aromatic,

It learns all of my secrets early on, and I learn it

The creaks and cracks and crannies that I love

Though there are things I hate and hate to love.

I had parties early on, but everyone goes home

Except me, because I am home and I cannot go

Anywhere but these nooks and corners

When the nights get cold and my brain is swirling,

The ceiling is swirling and it's too big in here,

So big that I can't breathe, can't think alone.

I have to escape here somehow, but how

When it knows me so well, knows just what to say,

Just how to creak to make the nostalgia hit me

And make the tears fall onto the floor silently.

I used to be silent before this house but I echo now

Echoing in this vacuous house that I just can't fill

With people or things or memories or myself,

I hate myself now, and have ever since I moved in,

But I choose to torture myself instead of leaving

Because it's just easier to die alone in this space

Than try to explain why I'm not a homeowner anymore.