Laughing Into the Dark

Write for what you need to hear. Fuck everyone else.

This belief has recently settled into my stomach like a warm ball of light after years of starting, stalling and stopping the process of writing A manuscript. Five years ago when I felt the manic passion of an artist destined to be discovered through my brilliant prose, I believed my unique path of becoming a conscious, awake human in a world of over 8 billion people would be jaw dropping and mind boggling. For who, better than me, could to tell the story about crawling out of the edges of hell by following the seductive light of recovery? And not only that, but who, but me, could cause you to reflect on your own journey while laughing into the dark abyss? I can almost hear the echoing maniacal laughter of my head-committee, the invisible “they”.

In these dystopian times of good vs. evil, I envision the “they” that we refer to when we need to slough off the responsibility of standing on our own two feet onto someone who is much more experienced than ourselves would look like the character of Effie Trinket from the Hunger Games. For how could a “they”, like a Ms. Trinket, possibly have more substance than us?

I’ve written this book for an audience of one. Me. And then as walls of protection gradually melted from the dawning light, slowly and steadily the audience grew to those of you who can read this to enjoy and feel inspired that you’re merely alive much less interested in opening and growing your awareness about self and the world around you. I have nothing to share with you that will teach you anything that you don’t already know or have probably heard before that your thrifty higher self rolled up and stuffed various scraps of heart-information into a waiting neuron for future popping. This book is to remind you that you’re not alone and that all of us are really much more alike than some of us would ever care to agree upon. Consider this book the velvet hammer to hit upon your spiritual funny bone.

As far as how best to follow the book’s circuitous path, even though the sections are laid out sequentially with the first 1/3--embryonic---referring to stories from my childhood, the next 1/3---boots on the ground---referring to the military influence in my life and the last 1/3---catching the thermals---this last and current part of my life, you know the only freaking direction for you to best take is the one that you WANT to take. Chapter at a time? Front to back or back to front, you’re not on the toilet so it doesn’t matter (or maybe you are while reading this, but you get my drift.) Just enjoy the journey. If some fruitful information inspires you how to live a more full life than all the better!

I wrote this for me and now you get to benefit. You are reading this for you and then I get to benefit. How more win-win could we get, us two doing our own thing for ourselves and thereby helping each other in the process? I just got a brain cramp from thinking about that. Enjoy! And remember, we’re all in this together whether we want to be or not. Might as well share and learn from each other while we’re figuring out this thing we call life.