Child

“Mom, can I jump in the puddles?”

“No, dear. Come along, we’re late. ”

“Mom, can I eat candy?”

“No, dear, they’ll make your teeth rot.”

“Mom, can you take me to the park tomorrow?”

“Sorry honey. I’m very busy.”

“Mom, can you stay and hug me while I fall asleep?”

“Sweetie, you need to learn how to sleep on your own.”

“Mom, can I give you a hug?”

“No, honey, I have a party and I can’t wrinkle my clothes.”

“Mom, can you read me a story?”

“Dear, you’re old enough to read your own story now. You’re 5 years old, sweetheart.”

“Mom, can you come with me to meet my best friend?”

“Honey, it’s about time we let you out without us.”

“Mom, can you help me with homework?”

“Ask your teacher tomorrow, that’s a dear. Now run along!”

“Mom, can you attend my graduation?”

“Sorry, dear. I can’t, I have lunch with my friends tomorrow at the Peak Buffet, it’s a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity!”

“Mom, could you sign this form to have me interview for Cambridge?”

“My, sure. As long as I don’t have to be there, you know I have poker every Tuesday!”

“Dear, could you come over and help me organise my wardrobe? I lost my pink fur coat, and I need it today, at the fashion ceremony!”

“Mom, I’m in class.”

“Be a dear and skip class just this once, won’t you? Mommy needs to make a good impression!”

*click

“Dear, where are you? The funeral’s about to start!”

“Sorry mother, I’m coming! Just a minute!”

“You cruel, sick, child! How could you be late to your own grandmother’s funeral! You obnoxiously mean-hearted person!”

*click.

“Why didn’t you cry at today’s funeral?”

“I thought. I needed to be strong for everyone?”

“You terrible person. It’s only courtesy to cry at a funeral!”

“But mother...”

“Goodbye.”

*click

“Dear, why aren’t you here yet? I’ve been sitting here for ages, and you won’t show up!”

“Mother, you called me 2 minutes ago and I was in another state.”

“I don’t care! I am your mother, and show some respect!”

*click

“Dear, your father died. I need the money. Now be a good girl and give me the money he left you.”

“Did you ever love him truly?”

“Silly girl. Women can’t marry for love, we’d all be peasants!”

*click

“Dearest, can I meet your grandson?”

“I’m sorry, I have no time to bring him to you. We are at the park, playing in puddles and having fun.”

“But I am more important!”

“How so, mother?”

“I am richer than you, I have more relations than you, I am your mother!”

“I have no more time for you!”

“I raised you!”

“Well I’m very sorry, mother”

*click

(Purely fictional)