growth

six months ago, if someone hugged me i would have cried. i would have burst like a red balloon with its skin stretched too tightly over too much air.

i would have let out a sob like a puncture wound and my whole body would have deflated and curled in on it’s self.

i would have been a useless swath of limp rubber in their arms.

i was so starved for any kind of intimacy that a strangers shoulder bumping into mine on the stairs made my throat close up and my eyes burn

those were the days i thought i was dying

i felt my body on autopilot and knew it didn’t need me

so i sat back and watched everything unfold

and hoped to hell i’d make it out