Tatyani

We were close, Tatyani and I. It was eighth grade, and I felt like I was finally fitting in after three semesters of trying futilely to make friends. She was by no means a best friend, but it was nice to talk to someone that wasn't my best friend, especially since we had a rocky relationship at this point, and even before our friendship became a tidal wave of teen angst, I barely shared any classes with my best friend. I shared quite a few with Tatyani and a boy that I liked. So, she had been the one I confided in about a crush I had.

She told me she would text him for me and I believed her. Though we had been talking before, the guy and I weren't exactly close and though I liked him, I was too scared to ask him myself, especially since he most likely knew more about me outside of that middle school than everyone else. He seemed to like me, and despite my front that I wasn't afraid of shit, I had just been rejected and wanted no part of being publicly humiliated again, especially by someone who was so open about everything.

So it went, I gave her my number to give to him and she'd text me updates, claiming that his phone was broken and that he wasn't allowed to text girls. I didn't mind. She would tell me that he liked certain things I wore and how to impress him. I followed stupidly. About two weeks in, my best friend and I started talking. Especially since I told her I had asked him about Tatyani and he said he never talked to her LOUDLY in the middle of math class. I was just happy to have someone removed to confide in again but she started pointing out stuff that I hadn't seen before, like that I easily could've asked him for his number at the park at the elementary school near my apartments where we both played basketball or asked one of his friends about him instead of trusting her. Plus, she had had a falling out with her best friend (who I also talked to occasionally) and she said she was a liar and that she was always making stuff up to sound cooler than she really was.

Armed with this new knowledge, I confronted her quietly (at first) in P.E. classes. She acted as if I was stupid for even confronting her and told me her friends were lying and that he was just embarrassed to like me. I'll be honest, hearing that someone was embarrassed to like me hurt but not as much as my so-called friend acting as if I was a burden on some guy I liked. It only made it worse that I really trusted her. I don't exactly remember how it transpired, but eventually, both he and I confronted her. She never said she did anything wrong. That hurt worse than anything she did.

I mainly remember her reaction to everything rather than what happened with him. I just know I was never with him and it eventually faded. Yet, every time I think of Tatyani, I get a pained twinge in my stomach of the one friend that did me dirty. I hope she got hemorrhoids.