Me

Some people write

To give a voice to the voiceless

And in a sense

I do that too

Except the “voiceless”

Is me.

In person

My voice is sometimes nonexistent

I am submissive

I agree with other people

Say things I don’t quite mean

Because I don’t know how to say the truth.

The truth that I am louder than I seem

That I have a lot more to say

Than what escapes my lips

That I am not always

That silent girl in class

That I can be that funny girl who laughs with her friend

That I could be more popular

If I was given more of a chance.

Over and over

I tell myself to give up

Tell myself to shut the up

To keep the words bottled up inside

Because letting them out means people would know the real me

They would know what goes on in my head

My deepest secrets I clutch close to my heart

And I don’t quite think I’m ready for that.

Putting my life on display

To be walked all over

Talked about

Or not talked about

ignored, even

That is not something I can do

Not now

Maybe not ever.