ok so

1) I understand, I looked for a job for forever and work related experience was the hardest thing for me to do to

2) Literally just make things up, like if you have ever babysat for a long period of time just put, "proven responsibilty, patience, and people skills"

3) You can use school experience, "I was in the yearbook class and was responsible for writing, captioning, and organizing spreads, as well as cope with multiple pressing deadlines." Use any class that is not a core class and stands out even a little bit.

4) the making friends super easily thing is also great, especially if you can turn it into leadership skills. Put like "Capable of managing large group situations, understanding of various opinions and encouraging compromise."

5) The goat thing is very impressive btw, goats are evil

6) For the goat/ feed bag thing, "worked to care for and protect various animals, maintained responsibilty in scheduled feeding and other requirements (sorry dont knwo much about goats)

7) try to find any sort of leadership, stress coping, time management, fast learner, or anything like that

8) most companies who are sought out as first time jobs know that their applicants wont have too much experience and will be understanding of that

9) if its really well written it will say a WHOLE lot trust me

10) also (this is what I did), if you go into the place you want to work and find an important person and show enthusiasm about the job they will remember that and it will affect their decision

11) especially if you come up and say you have been offered another job but would really like to work at _insert name_ because of passion or good work environment or something

12) try not to lie, but making the truth a bit more glamorous is helpful