Harry Situation’s 300th Review Special: The Room

Four years and three hundred reviews have led me to this moment...

You read that right, folks. Three hundred. I have written and posted three hundred reviews since my debut on Prose back in 2016. In fact, the time you’re reading this, this will also be my fourth anniversary of being a member of Prose.

A lot of you already know that for my landmark reviews I like to review a really, really bad movie. For the 50th it was Cool Cat; the 100th it was The Last Airbender; 150th was God’s Not Dead; 200th was The Emoji Movie; and 250th was the Jem and the Holograms movie. But I’ve saved the best for last. And my god, I believe I found quite possibly the best worst movie I have ever seen in my life. Here it is... my review for Tommy Wiseau's cult classic The Room.

The Room is a romantic drama film directed, written, produced, and stars the one, the only Tommy Wiseau. Now you may be wonder who exactly is Tommy Wiseau. Don't you know. He's the king of kings. The coming Messiah. Our Lord and Saviour. Actually, nobody really knows who Tommy Wiseau is. He's pretty secretive of his life. No one's entirely sure where he's born or what his age is. He's practically a mystery. But the one thing that wasn't a mystery was how he got into the film industry. No one would hire him as an actor so he decided one day, "Fuck it, I'm gonna make my own movie, with blackjack, and hookers!"

And thus The Room was made. Don't believe me? Check out the film The Disaster Artist, which is about the uprising of Tommy Wiseau and the making of The Room, starring James Franco as Wiseau, and his brother Dave Franco as Tommy's real life best friend Greg Sestero. I declared that movie as my number one pick for the best film of 2017 and I stand by it. It is definitely one of my all-time favorite films. I already reviewed that film. If you want to check it out just follow the link here: https://theprose.com/post/195945/harry-situation-reviews-the-disaster-artist

So what's the story? Oh man, get ready. The "story" centers around a banker named Johnny (played by Wiseau himself) who is happily engaged with his fiancee Lisa (Juliette Danielle). But Lisa is having a secret affair with Johnny's best friend Mark (played by Greg Sestero). And that's just one part of the story. There's a fuckton of other shit that happen that never get addressed or resolved. Like the story behind Lisa's mother finding out she has breast cancer. Or one of their friends Denny was in the mix with a drug dealer. And that's all in the first act alone.

So yeah, the story is a mess, but what about the acting?

Oh... my... fuck...

If you've heard of this film before you already know how bad the acting is. Tommy Wiseaus is not an actor. Hell, I cannot say the same about the entire cast either. It's cheesy. It's way too over-the-top. It's dull. It's insane. Everything you've heard about the acting in this film is one hundred percent true. But I'll give the poor guy this much credit. He's giving it his all. Every bad line read, every scene he chews up, every awkward laugh he makes, he's giving it his all, and I salute the man for it.

Okay acting wasn't the greatest, how's the writing? Read these lines of dialogue from the actual movie:

Johnny: Yeah, can I have a dozen red roses, please?

Flower Shop Clerk: Oh, hi, Johnny. I didn't know it was you. Here you go.

Johnny: That's me. How much is it?

Flower Shop Clerk: It'll be eighteen dollars.

Johnny: Here you go. Keep the change. Hi, doggy.

Flower Shop Clerk: You're my favorite customer.

Johnny: Thanks a lot. Bye!

Flower Shop Clerk: Buh-bye!

Yeah, I don't think I need to spell out how bad the writing is. However, the terrible writing is what makes the film so memorable. I mean with lines like, "I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did NOOOT! Oh hi Mark" would not have been as iconic without The Room.

How's the directing? It's pretty obvious that Tommy Wiseau had never directed anything in is life. There are scenes and shots that don't make any sense or have no effect on the overall story. There are camera shots of San Fransico meant to pad out the film's runtime. There are obvious green screen shots of what's suppose to be the sky whenever the characters are on the rooftop but you can tell it's a green screen since nothing is moving in the background (and the fact that wind isn't blowing in their hair). And probably the most unusual is the awkward sex scenes between the characters Johnny and Lisa. There's a scene of them having sex but Johnny is positioned in a weird angle from Lisa that it looks like he's trying to have intercourse with her stomach. I mean, this guy does know where the vagina is located, right?

But it's because this movie is so poorly made, so poorly edited and directed, it's why this film has stood out to audiences. It's why this film stood the test of time. This film is like a fine wine. It gets better with age. Okay, maybe not the most accurate comparison. Maybe it's more like a shitty beer. Sure it's shit at first but get going at it and it gets better.

I could go on and on about how bad this movie is, but that would be taking the fun out of experiencing it yourself. This is definitely a film you must watch for yourself and experience it. It's like stepping into another dimension. Now I could talk about all the behind the scenes drama with this film, like how Tommy Wiseau was acting like a complete jerk to his crew members or how he constantly showed up late and stumbled on his own lines. But The Disaster Artist already covered that, so go check that film out some time if you want to learn more about that. More importantly you have to see this film to believe how bad it can be. I've said it before my reviews are moreso recommendations. If you really want to experience something you have to check it out for yourself. And folks, this is a film I definitely recommend watching. My first real exposure to The Room came online with an episode of The Nostalgia Critic (back when he made good videos and had all his friends). Even then, after finding the film and actually watching it myself, it could not prepare me for one of the worst movies ever made... but it is hands down one of the best films I've ever seen in my life. I mean it. I really do mean it. Watching this film brings me so much joy. And we need joy in our lives right now. We need to laugh so hard until we cry. While we're in a global pandemic, with fear of contracting the coronavirus COVID-19 going around, and the isolating practice of social distancing, this is the film to give us joy in our lives.

Yes, it is a terrible written, poorly acted, poorly edited, awfully directed, campy as all fuck movie, but goddamn is it not one of the best things you'll ever experience in your life. I hope to see this film on the big screen and maybe get a picture with Tommy Wiseau one day. That'll be on my bucket list. Folks, go watch The Room, and have yourself a good laugh.

You know what? I'm gonna do something different this time and skip the Grading Scale. Hell, I'm not even gonna give this movie an F. It's too fucking good. So what grade can I give a film that's so bad but so good at the same time, the fact that it is a very terribly made movie it can bring so much joy to audiences all over the world?

Final Grade: A+

So this is my 300th review. Thank you all so much for reading my reviews and following me for so long. It brings me so much happiness to know that I can provide my thoughts and comedic wit in my writing without having to dive into politics or some other bullshit. But I couldn't have gone this far without your support and praise. So again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much.

I guess the question now is, what's next to review? Well, I already have 300 reviews written. Let's see if I can make it to 350, shall we? And what do you think I could review for that special? Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas? Jack & Jill? Maybe an Uwe Boll movie? Who knows at this point? The future is always bright. Until then, please be kine, leave a like and comment, and check out my other works here on Prose!

Best Quote:

Johnny: "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!"

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