Love without hearing

Being deaf is funny to me. I laugh a little as I watch my boyfriend dance around to a song my ears are unaware of. I see his eyes crinkle as he laughs too and my heart melts. I begin to feel my smile fade as I looked down at my hands. I look up again when I feel soft hands caress my face.

"Are you okay?" He asks. I wanna tell him yes, but I feel my tears giving me away. I brought my hands up and huffed in frustration.

"I hate that I'm broken." I sign.

"Broken? What do you mean?" he signs back getting down on his knees to be eye level with me.

"I hate feeling like this! I could hear before, did you know that?! I grew up hearing, hearing the ocean, the rain, music, laughing, crying, just hearing." I signed but maybe I signed too fast cause his face twisted to a hint of confusion but brought his hands back up none the less.

"Love, just because you cannot hear anymore does not mean you cannot hear." he signed. I laughed again gaining a funny look from my boyfriend.

"Do you even know what you signed?" I asked then felt him take my hands and bring his face in front of mine so I could read his lips.

"You can feel cant you? You can touch me and you can touch the sand at the beach. You can also see. See me play the piano and see the lightning light up the sky. You can taste. Taste your mom's cooking and strawberry icecream. Baby, you can imagine the sounds. You don't need ears to hear as long as you have the determination to know what it sounds like. Like right now, you can feel my breathe cant you? You might not be able to hear me speak but you can feel it." he said and I started crying again.

"Yea but don't you get frustrated that I can't hear or speak?" I signed back hysterically.

"Did you not understand what I just said? You speak and hear in your own way and that makes me love you all the more. The way you communicate leaves me breathless. I love you and I love how you interrupt things and feel things. I love you." He said and then brought me in a hug as I cried.

I pulled him back as I told him 'thank you' over and over again. It's going to be fine, Im going to be fine.