My Condolences

So, you’ve got the VD,

or is it the STD?

Is your pee-pee crying?

Do you feel like you’re dying?

Are you itchy and sore,

don’t think you can take anymore?

Have you got puss-filled wounds,

making you feel like you’re gonna swoon?

I’m sorry, my friend.

I hope it’s near the end,

so you can stop feeling crappy,

and go back to being happy.

But I’ve got one piece of advice,

then you can go back to the ice --

Next time, leave your stuff in your pants,

so your privates don’t feel covered in ants.