Silent Trauma

I don't know what else to say

Grief has swallowed me whole and taken the words away

It feels like I'm screaming, but nothing comes out

It seems that death and silence have the address

Mingling together in a house with no windows

Shivering in dark cold rooms

I want to go outside

Why are the doors locked?

Please I need to feel those forgotten sun rays

What I would've give for one more day

One more Willie laugh and warm embrace

What I wouldn't give to see that million dollar smile spread once more across your face

I try to remember all the times that I did

All the, "Hello beautiful"s

All the, "Hey buuuddy"s

All the times you stood up straighter when you saw someone you loved

Your words always gentle, your voice always soft

It was somehow that way even when you were trying to be harsh

I'm clutching onto those memories

Those ones that were happy

Praying they will warm me and fill in that spot where you're supposed to be

They make me feel gratitude instead of pain

And I know which one you'd rather me feel when I hear your name

I can't promise to be graceful through this

But I can promise to be strong

I promise to keep moving forward, even as the days drag on and on and on

I promise to try and speak of it, even with my tongue tied in knots

You're already gone

I'm not gonna make it if my words become lost

Good memories and kind words is all I got