Hitting the Damn Button

Ball in a box is a psychology analogy to help create something tangible for those suffering from grief.

Imagine a box.

Within this box on one of the sides is a red button. It takes up a third of the wall, perfectly centered.

Whenever this button is pushed an immense amount of pain is sent through you.

You may fall to the ground, be forced to pull over, cry, scream, whatever human reaction you have to such an emotional wound.

There is also a ball that sits in this box. It bounces around within the box.

At the beginning of the grieving process the ball is huge.

It takes up almost the whole box and it keeps hitting that damn button constantly. At work, at home, driving into town, going grocery shopping.

This ball and this box are with you everywhere. As time goes on and you begin to heal the ball make shrink in size.

Some people’s balls will shrink quicker than others, some much slower.

As this ball shrinks it will hit the button a little less, but when it does hit it, the same amount of pain will shoot through you.

The ball doesn’t shrink in any predicable or linear fashion.

The ball may even appear to shrink for a long time and then grow again, especially around memorable events like birthdays or holidays.

Throughout the process the ball will continue to grow and shrink.

For some people the ball may disappear, but for many it never will.

This is my journey through one of the most painful processes I have ever experienced.