Disowned
A cacophony of shadows, and all I fear. Inky wraths writhing from the depths of my soul. Tick-tock. 'Tis the season and the clock marches on. The evergreens and lights ascend, and hallmark banners adorn the buildings like scarves.
A cacophony of silence are closing in around me. The snow is dancing in the heavy darkness. The Warm glow of a street lamp illuminates the lawn next door. Father, mother, son, and daughter all laughing and playing around their newly erected snowman doubles. A single pane of glass separates me from their world; a world I cannot be apart of. Not again. Never again. All I can do is look on and watch.
A cacophony of memories assail me. They lay me bare and rend me to pieces. The shadows of my past stand over me, begging why they are only shadows. Why can't be now. They take turns with the knife but there is no more blood too bleed. I am nothing. Unwanted refuse cast asunder. I am left with only the past to haunt me.
A cacophony of whispers echo the thundering of the clock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Incessantly driving onward to the day. The radios change to the carols I loved and the TV specials reign supreme. Each day growing louder, closer, nearer. The stampede is coming and I am at its mercy. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. The waiting peels like an onion, layer after layer, each growing more pungent. Is the wait the torment or only a prelude to come?
A cacophony of sentiment pours down on my head. I am drowning. Sympathies and holiday cheer blend into a torrent of suffocating air. Each passing family, each well wisher and horrid decoration, and each smile and laugh casts its own shadow. Shadows that twist and contort to join and grow my own shadows. Shadows of my family that will no longer call me their own. A family I can no longer call my own.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Time marches on and the weight grows relentlessly. Each day is a day closer to being all alone. I cannot escape for it is my own shadow that chases me. My day is coming. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
A cacophony of shadows is all that I fear.
A cacophony of shadows is all that I am.