The Wall
When I was young, I began to build.
I built sidewalks and skyscrapers.
I built castles and cathedrals.
And every hall was filled with people
Who shouted my name
Again and again and again
When I entered the room.
I built a world where I could zoom
Around like an airplane,
Maintain my height in the flight
Where no restraint could constrain me.
And no master could train me,
Because I was the master of this world that I built.
When I was young, I was the pilot,
I was the captain,
I was the astronaut out in space,
Where I was wrapped in starlight.
And gravity with all its might
Couldn't bring me back down to earth.
I was in orbit.
I thought that the airplane was high before, but
Looking down on the earth from the moon
Awoke something in me that was dormant.
It was wonder, and I was full of it.
The stars were my playground,
And I played in them all the time,
Cracking spines
Of every book
I took down from the shelf
To learn about them.
When I was young, I was higher than I had ever been,
When I was caught by the fist
Of the other boys who caught me reading a book.
Maybe they mistook me for another,
Maybe they just missed their mother
And had no other way to deal with the hole that left in them.
Maybe the gravity of that hole held them.
I had read about black holes,
And I think that they had one inside of them.
But, as they struck me, I fell.
I fell from the stars to the earth,
And gravity effected me as it never had before.
When I was young, I began to build.
This was the first brick.
I began to build a wall.
Where all the real world could be forgone,
And all my fantasy could enthrall me.
The strike fashioned a brick in my hand
That I laid in the cool sand of the beach
Where I hid myself in my world.
The ocean swirled around my feet,
And I hurled brick after brick
Onto the wall in my world.
The next day, they struck me again,
A new brick in my hand
To be placed on the sand.
When I was young, I was just a boy who didn't understand.
When dad lost his job, I didn't know not to ask
For this and that
That he could no longer afford.
I did not ignore the fact.
I simply was ignorant of the fact.
He was no longer young.
He said his song had been sung.
Or, at least, the note did that we found where he hung.
Another brick had sprung into my hand.
This one stung worse than all the rest,
But it was placed with all the rest
On the wall I had built.
When I was young, I was not that tall.
I had built the wall so high, that I could not see all
The people around me.
I could not see that my world was still on the other other side of the wall,
Because I was not that tall.
I was not that strong, either,
And I could not climb higher
To see the clouds lining of silver shining over me.
I could only see the ocean, and the tide would soon be over me.
A little older would see me drowning in that tide
As I drowned myself in Mary Jane's sweet perfumes
And Dark Side of the Moon
To pass the time till I died.
When I was young, I built a wall,
And I was not tall enough to see over it,
And I was not strong enough to climb to the top.
Even If I could've,
I would've only jumped off.
But, then I was older.
I needed to figure out another way to calm my fears,
To quiet my demons sceraming out in my ears.
I had grown colder,
I had not seen the light of day in years.
I had been behind my wall where no one could hear
As I cried out curses mingled with tears.
Then I heard you say to me,
"What's wrong?"
It was like a song that I had never heard before.
Or maybe, I had.
Maybe the one who last sung it was my dad.
Whatever the case, The melody had
A certain gentle quality
That getnly lifted all of me off the ground.
I heard the pounding
Of something in my chest.
I took a gentle rest to put my hand on it.
Then I remembered what it was.
It was my heart. I had not felt it in I don't know how long.
It must've been your song.
"When I was young, I began to build"
I said. And I told you of all I had built.
My world with the ocean that swirled
And the sidewalks and skyscrapers,
And the castles and cathedrals,
And then, of the wall and of all the guilt.
"It's alright." You said to me.
"You don't have to be the person you don't want to be.
But, if that's who you are, don't pretend with me."
Those are the words that you said to me.
And with every word, I began to drift higher into the air.
The wind began to blow through my hair,
And the sun kissed my barenaked face
When I saw yours and traced
Each line of it with my hand,
My hand that I noticed did not have a brick in it.
"How long have you been there, outside the wall?"
"For a few years, waiting on you to call,
But you never did.
You were hid back here."
"I never knew." I said.
"How could you have? You were nearly dead."
And that is how you saved me.
When we came back down from our flight,
We were back in the world that I had made.
We were in my world.
You, were in my world,
And my heart swirled like the ocean.
And, as we stood there, you began to tear down the wall.
You said, "There is no need for this now, beacuse all
that this represents
Is the time when you were on the fence
Between living and dying."
I was done trying to keep the barriers up.
I couldn't be an island. I was not strong enough.
And so we tore down my wall, and we bagan to build.
And now we stand not in the world that I built,
Not in my world,
But in ours
Where flowers bloom into stars
And it is only a hop skip and a jump to Mars,
And where wonder
Once again fills our hearts.