Thoughts that keep me awake at night

I have one child who is disabled and 100% dependant on me. She is soon to be 13. My sleep is interupted by thoughts of the future. Hers, mine, ours. Unable to work outside the home I think about what will happen to us when my parents pass away? We live with them. I can't support us on the little bit of disability my daughter recieves. Will I be able to find us a support system? Others who will love and care for my child when I die? Placing her out of my care is that last thing I want to do. I don't have anyone close to me who has experienced the same. The stories I hear of the very few places she could go are not good. I think about what will happen as we both get older and I won't be able to lift her by myself, or transfer her to and from bed.

I find my self thinking of how we could afford a remodel on the bathroom so it is accesible to her and I when she needs a bath. Will her sisters resent her? Will they worry too much about her? How will they mainatain their lives with habing a sister in a facility? Maybe they would want her at home with them. I wold love that but I don't want to put pressure on the kids. I think about having my own room one day. One that I don't have to share with my youngest child. I would really like my own space.

I think about my other two kids and all that they have to give up because I am only one person with alimited income. I pray they remember more good times than bad as they grow up and have families of their own.