Bombs Falling On Heaven

We live-streamed the bombs that fell; Clouds rimmed in atomic fire, cracking the sky. It was the happiest memory of my life.

God had shuffled around the warheads, aimed at where our algorithm pinpointed The Throne. “There are more rewards in heaven than on this Earth.”

I cursed my laptop. Warhead 205 was offline, except it was still sending telemetry…I smacked the PC. It was top-rated, but five stars didn’t mean shit when companies goosed their reviews.

“What’s the point, if the night sky is a diadem without eternal life?”

God was really starting to bum me out. “Hey, 205’s buggy! Anyone?”

Militiamen shrugged. “Reset it?”

I had been avoiding the nuclear option, but I held the power. The laptop rebooted. Pre-packaged apps clogged it like an engine full of tar. Warhead 205 came up green.

“Clear the platform!”

“I am the alpha, the omega.” God said. “Continue this, and you will face punishments no man has known.”

Finally, I smiled. My tightest, bleached grin; reserved for people whose names I’d forgotten. “You know how we found heaven?”

“I see all.” God said stubbornly.

“Negative reviews.” I tapped ‘Fire’. No countdown. No warning. Rockets warmed the concrete.

“What will keep them righteous?” God asked

“Dunno.”

Jet-wash rippled God’s robes. “Why discard impetus to better yourselves?”

“We’d like our sky to be sky again.” Jets roared, but God could hear me. “No masters, except those we rate at five stars.”

Heaven flashed. It was the top video on Youtube...for 48 hours.