to the one person who will never read this

I don't really care who reads this

I don't really care who knows how I feel

because the one person who I want to know

is you.

And you probably never will.

For the first time

in a long time

I didn’t text you 20 times

before you responded

but I don’t think you noticed.

Only I would notice that.

Just like only I would notice

that you were active exactly 23 minutes ago

and I texted you 22 minutes ago

but still no response.

Just like only I would notice

how I always ask “how are you”

but rarely do you ask me the same thing

just like only I would notice

I’m the only one who asks questions

in our conversation

you just respond

then leave.

Why

am

I

still

bothering?

Why do I still text you

even though 99% of your responses

are some combination of

haha

lmao

lol

omg.

You don’t care about me

but see that’s where I went wrong

I thought you did

I thought you were different

To be honest, there were a lot of things I thought

but the only truths

that ever crossed my mind

were the ones I thought

at midnight, staring up at the ceiling in the dark

mulling over conversations

and all those truths

were something along the lines of

you will never like me

i will never be your friend

i was stupid to think otherwise

maybe i should just give up.

And that’s exactly what I’m doing

giving up.

cutting off a friendship

that was never together

two people that never should have met

but somehow did

two people that were never in the same social bracket

but managed to cross paths

two people that were destined to split

leaving one fine

leaving the other broken.

Guess which one I am?