Panic

What do you think of when you say the word, panic? Does your mind’s eye automatically take you to a scene of utter chaos? Maybe you see fire and explosions. Maybe you see people running around mindlessly in absolute disarray. Perhaps you picture someone wailing at the top of their lungs and gasping for air between sobs.

This is the thing about panic, though.

It can be quiet.

It can remain completely unseen and unnoticed.

It can exist right under your nose and you didn’t even know it was there.

Look closer at the woman sitting in the patio chair. At first glance you see her bright smile and hear her carefree laughter. She leans back in her chair taking a sip of her wine. The cake she just served her company turned out perfectly and everyone complimented her craft...but, here’s what you’re missing.

Listen. Do you hear how fast she’s breathing? Her lungs feel as if they’re being crushed by a boulder as she quietly struggles through each breath. Do know how hard her heart is pounding? If you were to reach over and take her hand, they would be cold, clammy, and sweaty. She’s fighting like hell to hold back the tears. They burn hot behind her eyes, but she refuses to let them be seen. She is analyzing her every move, every word that comes out of her mouth and the mouths of those around her. Should she have said this or should she have done that? She feels as if she’s going to break under her own pressure. It’s taking every fiber of strength inside of her to not get up and run away from them so she can just be alone. But she’s paralyzed. She knows, she knows damn well what this feeling is.

Panic.

She doesn’t know what to do, so she takes another sip of her wine, laughs at a joke she didn’t hear, and smiles.