Euphoria - your intoxicant removed

My arrival was scheduled for 4 am

The catalyst was a combination

Allowing myself to indulge in my favorite pleasures 

They kept their promise

Killing me

Saving me

only

Simultaneously

or in that order

Of my heart I was proud

Loyal + kind

Unwavering for the duration of my earthly seconds

Confidence flowed

Naturally

intimidation followed

My feet moving slow

And easy

But the music was too excited

Rushing past the entrance

Embracing me

Grabbing my hand and pulling

Running now

My eyes wanted to experience

What my ears had felt

The first pang of hunger

That would lack satisfaction

For all of eternity

I saw pampas grass and butcher block counter tops

Allman brothers records, 

NYT magazines.

Brick walls - one red

Original hardwood - the dog; the universe

Writing; painting; dancing

Hopefully yours one day, too

But for now — one long flat surface

In your favorite shade of blue.

Atop, inter alia, a formal setting + vuevle cliquot

Peonies, half an eighth ball

Open drawer number 3

Wisteria brushes the wicks of the candles

My hand does the same to your cock

Meanwhile I’m thinking of nothing but the river

And some pinot noir I hid behind your dock

My brain can’t escape Big Sur

Nor the things that we promised to create

I dream of shows and drugs and growth

Books + laughter

On earth, all known as pleasures

Indulgences not necessary of denying to oneself

But now they were spirits

Their combination, a cocktail

Thirsty

hungry

Satisfaction beyond reach

To be drunk on you was necessary to survive

Even beyond death

Eons have passed

Eternity lies ahead

Learning now 

intoxicants do not exist in the vastness of hell

For now

For eternity

Craving and hungry

taking form in their most desperate intensities  

you’re not coming.