Winning a New Life

It was easy.

It was so fucking easy,

To fly away in your pipe every night.

It was so easy to forget yourself,

To live in an artificial world of euphoria,

To mask the rot of your mind by the sweet rush of adrenaline.

To turn the your empty pit you call your soul,

Into a bottomless abyss.

You fell,

And you thought would never hit the ground.

But you did.

You failed so many times.

You failed so many fucking times.

Your body shaked as it recovered,

The wounds in your mouth began to heal,

You began to rebuild.

You began to fill the pit, slab by slab,

Life too heavy for you to lift by yourself.

Your will wasn't stronger than your sadness.

You couldn’t live in the real world,

You couldn’t face the real you.

You pushed yourself into the shallow hole of your past.

Crashed on the bitter surface of who you were.

It was hard.

It was so fucking hard.

So many looks that nauseated,

So much unrighteous pity.

So much withdrawal and pain.

You prayed to die.

Until your hands were held by something stronger than the grasp of narcotics,

by the grace of someone who believes.

Your mind throbbed forgein, yet familiar thoughts .

Your body begain to forgive itself, and heal from the inside out.

Your were stronger than you thought possible.

Slowly, the emptiness was transformed into a peculiar fullness,

Scar tissue never to fully heal, but to remind,

The world you left behind.

There was no place left to fall.

You have won.