Summer magic

my first post here was reflecting summer, spent with my cousins before we moved. I miss those summers. So, what I did was a rewrite. I should add I have been on prose for around 8 months now.

ORIGINAL

Kingdoms

Enclosed between fences

one underground,

one in treetops.

A great struggle, good and evil

Who will win?

It changed every time:

as everyone knows,

ten-year-olds are temperamental.

Late summer nights spent

soaring

above castles

under great bridges

No matter the winner, it was always a victory

the wind in your face

the sun in your eyes

the dirt beneath the fingernails

Imagination is a wonderful thing.

EDITED NOW

The sun smiled

Dappled

Flowers among the

Sweet-smelling fruit trees

Sticky

Fingers and

Juice streaming down elbows

Smiles and

laughter

Echoes

Over handprints and

Kingdom walls

Among the golden and the green

And the sweet

And the crickets

Singing to starry

summer skies and

The smoke swirling above us all

Molding the stories and

The minds of

Us

The warriors who play in the sun

And flying through

The buzz of the grass

Swimming through the

Cerulean sky

Searching among the vegetables

Treasures in the sand now underneath

Our ragged fingernails

And the white wood

And rough red brick

Simply

Disappears.