I miss these nights the most

One of the most romantic nights I’ve ever had

Was with a man I didn’t like the day I met him

I thought he was pretentious

And he kind of is

But the warmth in his smile

And the sureness of his hands on my hips

Made me feel seen

And valued

For the first time in so long.

We’d had a little too much to drink at the hostel we were at, and our newfound friends were eager for a midnight swim. It took next to no time at all for us to all strip and run into the oceans warm embrace, dripping saltwater and moonlight.

I haven’t felt that beautiful in so long.

He was a stronger swimmer than I was, but I knew this beach and it’s riptides like the back of my hand. He called out to me, the both of us a little lost without our glasses. Our hands met for a split second before a wave crashed down over our heads with a mighty force. Black waves upon black skies would otherwise terrify me, but as we resurfaced laughing like maniacs, I felt at peace.

His hands reached mine once more, and he pulled me in. My legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, my arms locked around his neck. He whispered a breathy “there you are” against my skin as his hands made their way from my thighs to my back. I barely giggled a shy “hello” before his lips were on mine and the next wave was upon us.

We resurfaced together, a sudden primal need overtook us both after a short pause, his hands embedding themselves into my hair, my nails leaving well worn evidence down his back.

We stumbled out of the oceans glittering depths, leaving the others to sort themselves. We slipped past security, grabbed our clothes from their sandy graves, and ran up the stairs to the yoga deck overlooking the entire beach. The residual heat of the wood stoked a fire in us, and we lost ourselves, and track of time.

Until we breathlessly untangled, both staring up at the Milky Way dancing above our heads. Our moment of peace was brief as our friends came searching for us with flashlights lit and laughter at our state cracking the peaceful facade.

We shimmied into our damp sandy clothes, found our glasses, not our shoes, and walked hand in hand back to the common area in the darkness. After a pause, and three more stolen kisses, we parted ways as lovers, only to reconvene as friends the following morning.

I think about him sometimes.

In no way do I believe we could have ever been together, we were incompatible at best, but for a moment, we had stolen a night to be soulmates.