To The One I Loved Before

Blood. so - much- blood. scars. so - many - scars. open wounds that are deeper than my thoughts that flood my mind on those late nights as I gaze into the eyes of my reflection. I watch as each tear drops from each eye as if its the rain I stand in alone.

Rain boots and rain coats is not enough to block the puddles of pain I step in and that splash around me. Thinking that maybe if I stomp hard enough I can stomp away the years of pain that I have filled my clouds with , by overthinking the possible and believing in the impossible. Then anticipating the fact that nothing will change and im just wasting my time .

Using the little of faith I possess to believe that maybe one day, just one day you will hear my screams of help brake through my silence. You come to realization that i am not okay. I swallow my pain so others can avoid tasting the hidden wickedness that I have fed since the age of 6. Its the feeling of that greedy sensation when one who handed you salt but portrayed it to be sugar, abuse.

I let you in and you destroyed everything that I thought I would never let go of , you ripped my confidence from my mental as if it was nothing, you shattered my self love as if it was a wine glass colliding against the floor because its just a wine glass right. You can just piece it back together right? You can buy another one right? You can just repla- wait .