Thoughts I Have While Running

1. *tying my shoes* This is going to be easy

2. It's such a nice day today! Perfect for a run.

3. *actually walks outside* shit, it's hot. Why is it always hot?

4. *puts hair in a ponytail* Do I look like a boy when I put my hair up? I really hope not, I'd make an ugly boy.

5. *starts running* how am I already tired?!

6. Should I check my watch to see how long it's been? Yeah, maybe I should.

7. FOUR MINUTES ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

8. Okay...three miles...that's basically two miles since the last mile is flat and downhill, but the third half-mile is also only kind of uphill, so I'm just running one and a half miles! Piece of cake.

9. Another person. Do I wave? Smile? Mumble hi even though I'm out of breath so they probably won't hear me unless they have echolocation?

10. Wait. Would echolocation even help them hear me? I need to Google that when I get home...

11. *awkward smile-wave thing* oh my gosh I did it I waved I'm such a great person right now.

...they didn't smile back. FINE. SEE IF I CARE.

12. Great! All downhill from here.

13. ...except for this very real uphill. God when did this uphill get so long

14. Now it's all downhill from here.

15. Awwwwwwww that dog being pushed in a stroller is adorable. I wish I was a dog...Would that couple push me in their stroller? Or just let me borrow it so I can coast downhill?

16. *grimace* Ow why are my knees hurting now? Five more minutes, you couldn't have waited five more minutes you stupid legs!?! And there go the cramps. Perfect.

17. *checks watch* shit I'm off my time. Better pick up the pace.

18. ...and I started my finishing kick to early, now that it's actually time to sprint I'm dead. Go me...

19. ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh why is my house so far away? when did this flat. stretch. of. road. become. uphill?!

20. *stops, breathing hard, doubled over* I DID IT. Now I can go watch YouTube and convince myself that I couldn't have run any faster if I wanted to and that I'll do even better tomorrow.