Pain Rules

I feel it stirring.

I am reminded of my knowledge of death

My friendship with loneliness

My devotion to the darkness.

I can feel the knives twisting in my back

And the razor rushing to relieve me of this life I've been trudging through.

The devil comes to my right

An angel rushes to my left

And they carry me.

Together, they carry me across the river of pain I've been sleeping in

And they tell me I'm too beautiful to be here

Too divine to destroy myself

Too chosen to break myself down.

I am the hunger of the universe

The longing of the ocean to be on the shore

And I am lonely while I'm living

Loved while I am killing

And I am a danger to myself if my hands are not being held.

Come and hold my hands.

Come and harvest my heart.

Make me into a masterpiece before I tear myself apart.

It's only a matter of time

Before I implode from lack of hope.

Maybe this angel will fill me with light

Maybe the devil will command the night inside of me to rise like phoenix

Lifting me off of the ground

Lifting me into a plane of existence that has been mine all along

Maybe I will rule the pain before it learns to break my bones.

Maybe this pain will rule me, it's made my heart its home.

-AshleyAnne