Learning to love when you don’t love yourself

My anxiety texts you at 2am

(and 6am and 8am and 10am and 1pm and 5pm and 9pm and 11pm)

I am waiting for you to tell me that it’s over

I was too much

I was not enough

I spend nights panicking

Writing pages of insecurities

My personality, my sexuality

You are one of the best things that has happened to me

I do not want to be one of the worst things that has happened to you

I vomit my fears on you

I cry in your arms for hours

(you won’t let me run away)

(you won’t let me cry alone)

I am terrified that you will see me the way I see myself.

You meet the fears with kindness and understanding

You don’t mind the stains I’ve left on your shirt

“The way you love me is enough”

“The person I love is the person you are”