a bargain

The third glass of cabernet was half gone, and I should have stopped at one.

He was on his fourth, and leaning in a little too closely to hear my supposed wit.

His smile still warmed, his eyes still touched,

his hand landed on my knee as if by accident.

Should it matter? His hand had been there before, after all,

though that was back in the day.

I let myself get lost for a moment in his eyes,

in a memory. I don't pull away as he leans closer.

For a moment

just a moment

not even a heartbeat

I almost

but didn't

wanted to

but didn't.

Laughed and pulled away.

Stood to go, shaking hands with no remorse. Eager now to be gone.

The ring on my finger warmed me as I rode home.

There is a price for choosing one.

He pulls me to him, familiar arms around me

Loving me, knowing me.

"Regrets?" He wonders.

I shake my head, stumbling out of my heels as I veer towards bed.

He holds me close in the bed we share, the house we built, the life we created;

and I know I'm the one who got the bargain.